RoboCop 3 marked the temporary end of the franchise.
We attempt to find some interesting things to say about this critically panned film… First, comedian Bixby Id buy that for a dollar!
Hes now Vice President, and spends much of the film standing around and not blinking.
Whats even more distracting is that, for some reason, he over-enunciates every line hes given.
Or maybe like watching a horse chewing a polo mint.
They dont carry ninja stars, or those cool sickle-key in things with a chain attached.
They dont even appear or disappear in flashes of smoke.
If you ask us, thats a terrible missed opportunity.
WhatRoboCop 3lacks in ninja weaponry, it makes up for in its villainy.
We were unable to find out whether this line was penned by Frank Miller or co-writer Fred Dekker.
Rip Torn rants and raves sweatily as the new president of OCP.
Although the originalRoboCopwas a black satire, somethingRoboCop 2attempted to replicate with less success,RoboCop 3is pure pantomime.
Where the violence has been toned down to a distracting degree, the acting is extraordinarily excessive.
Even poor old ED-209 over-emotes, with his cameo concluding with the robotic cry ofEat lead, suckers!
Like us, hes probably reminiscing about the good old days, when Verhoeven was still calling the shots.
I traded in an SUX for this!
Lorinz yells, alluding to the SUX 6000 advertised in the originalRoboCop.
After foolishly calling Lewis a Dumb broad, hes shot in the chest by a gang member and dies.
Well, we thought it was an interesting fact.
We evenwrote an article about this last year.
Beat that, Ed Neumeier.
Just $5.95 for New York strip steak with garden salad, baked potato and a buttered roll?
Say what you will about the violence in future Detroit, thats unbeatable value.
It might be worth something, our hearts sank a little further.
We never got a chance to test it, we had to fight back our tears of indignation.
The ninja robots are tricked into decapitating each other, which in turn sets off their Thermonuclear self-destruct systems.
That explosion marked the tragic death of the franchise.
At least, not yet…
