This article contains a spoiler for the end of The Empire Strikes Back.
Considering everything hes been through, Skywalker is still remarkably chipper by the end of it all.
Can you imagine owning the bar at Mos Eisley?
Then theres Greedos corpse, still slumped in the corner.
And the late Greedos ship, which would probably have to be towed away as well.
Thats something to look out for inEpisode VII.
If Skywalker takes the death of close family members and mentors well, consider poor Princess Leia.
In other words, its a cross between the Spanish inquisition and an iPad.
But how did it get aboard the Death Star so quickly?
We can only shudder at the thought.
On the positive side, theStar Warsuniverse at least had one less creepy, sewer-dwelling Dianoga to worry about.
And when you flatly refused to join his gang, he tried to kill you.
Most of us would probably turn to drink or bicycle theft after an experience like that.
Skywalker decides to become a Jedi and bring down the Empire instead.
Now thats what we call strength of character.
Heres a scary existential scenario: imagine being R2-D2.
In theStar Warsuniverse, artificial intelligence has become so ubiquitous that it isnt even commented on.
But as we saw inA New Hope,there are robots specifically engineered to torture humans.
And worse still,Return Of The Jedireveals that robots frequently torture each other.
InEpisode VII, expect to see robots doing other unpleasant, human-like things, like twerking and taking selfies.
InThe Empire Strikes Back,Han Solo parked the Millennium Falcon inside an asteroid.
Think about this for a moment.
In theStar Warsuniverse, there are giant worms hiding inside asteroids, just waiting to snap at passing ships.
The more we ponder this, the more terrifying we find it.
While Han and Leia are inside the exogorth, they encounter a breed of creature called the mynock.
These bat-like lifeforms feed on the power from space ships, and theyre parasites, living inside space slugs.
What kind of nightmarish, messed up eco-system is that?
These are the kinds of questions that leave us staring at the ceiling at night.
Revolutions are always painful, we suppose.
