Movie merchandise is big business.
But some people will try and slap the name of The Avengers or Batman on anything…
Cool film stuff can be almost as fun as actually going to the movies.
Think of a Batman cape, an Arnold Schwarzenegger action figure, orGoldeneyeon the N64.
Here then are 50 of the strangest (not ranked in order!)
expect action figures of obscure henchmen, 16-carat gold Twilight jewellery and some truly vomit-inducing burgers…
1.
It also had web-shaped fries.
Thats not the weird bit though.
God damn, Burger King!
A burger cant represent Spider-man and Batman!
Didnt they get the memo that its the law to pick a side?
Someone thought hed be a good character to base a childrens Christmas annual around.
Including colour-in machine guns.
A rather famous book calledDracula.
So theres no need to write a novelisation, right?
But thats what happened.
So when the film came out, you could buy the original Bram Stoker novel.
Unfortunately, the one it picked was Ridley ScottsAlien.
It was not a kid friendly space romp, but instead a violent claustrophobic and terrifying horror.
Aliens Micro Machines
9.
Transformers Play Shave Set
I get that kids like to pretend to do things that adults do.
Its all part of growing up.
But fake Transformers-themed razors?
An Original Soundtrack featuring such early 90s icons as Ice-T and Erasure.
My Neighbour Totoro Totoro onesies
Okay, this one might just be me.
I dont, however, think of something for teenagers to wear at music festivals.
Plus a skinny Totoro just looks so wrong.
Django Unchained Action figures
In the 21st century, high-end toys for adult collectors are an established thing.
TheDjangotoys were something different though.
Al Sharpton, led to the figures being pulled from stores.
But the joke went down so well, that it ended up producing the figure for real.
Which is kind of cool.
Its still just a slab of black plastic in funny packaging though.
It even comes with a bloody butchers smock, for completions sake.
But he hit his own problems.
The film ends with the shock reveal of the identity of Tracys mysterious antagonist The Blank.
Later printings restored the full ending, but its still an insane move.
Even more crazy is making it an ongoing series continuing the story.
Like virtually everything Kirby did, its fantastic, but not really in the spirit of the original.
Of course, theres no music.
Strangely, the lyrics dont have the same pizzazz when rendered in block text.
Atari 2600 video game
One of the most notorious movie tie-ins of all time.
Unsurprisingly, the finished product was terrible, and bombed completely.
Dune Activity book
Frank Herberts originalDunenovel is a dense, long, heavy sci-fi epic.
David Lynchs film version is complicated, overly ambitious and confusing mess.
Thor Dumbbell alarm clock
Want to get muscles like Thor?
You cant just work out with any dumbbell, it has to be this Thor-branded dumbbell.
Oh wait, its actually an alarm clock.
Erm, OK….
22.
The Avengers Cologne
Want to smell like a superhero?
Well now it’s possible for you to with this special Avengers range of colognes.
), Iron Mans Mark IV (metal?
), Thors Worthy, Hulks Smash or Nick Furys sexy-sounding Infinity Formula.
Or for the less heroic of you, Mischief, the scent of Loki.
Its the super-hero equivalent of getting Kalvin Clein or DKNW fragrances down the market.
Despicable Me Adult Minion Costume
For Halloween this year Im just not trying.
Scooby Doo Dog costume
Yep, you’re able to dress your dog up as a dog.
Just in case he didnt look enough like a dog already.
Just think of the existential issues youre putting him through…
26.
Which isnt that cute.
Its bit icky to be honest.
The Matrix Reloaded Samsung SPH-N270
In the originalMatrix, the Nokia 8110 was prominently featured.
With its effortlessly slick spring-loaded slider, it perfectly fitted into the super-cool technological world of the film.
The Wachowskis kind of did the same thing withReloadedandRevolution, to be fair.
It is a true classic of its genre.
The 1994Street Fightermovie is not such a classic.
It did not go down well.
Moonwalker Mega Drive video game
Michael JacksonsMoonwalkeris pretty demented on its own.
The dogs even stand up on their hind legs and everything.
More like this, kindly.
Monsters University Huggies potty training
Potty training is a fact of life.
AndMonsters University despite being a take-off of Animal House is a film young kids will enjoy.
All together now: What Do Little Monsters Take?
Star Wars Underoos
In the US, I believe Underoos are a nostalgic part of many Generation Xers childhoods.
Want to dress up as Luke Skywalker or Boba Fett?
But not a whole costume, just your pants and vest?
It just feels a bit wrong.
It also comes with some legitimately awesome zombie and SWAT figurines.
And of course, the board is the layout of the shopping mall.
Star Trek Coffins
Fandom can dominate peoples lives.
It can also dominate their deaths, I guess.
But is there really now enough demand for officialStar Trekcoffins to be produced on a commercial scale?
Die long and prosper?
Youve just seen Tim Burtons Batman.
It was awesome, wasnt it?
And now you want the toys.
Which figures do you?
Well, maybe…. Alfred?
Er…. How about that super-iconic character Bob, The Jokers Goon?
Come on, he even has Power Kick action!
But is he really worthy of a figure?
Especially one without an Exploding Head Action?
Sex And The City Thongs
There are no words.
James Bond Tocca Candles
James Bond appreciates the finer things in life.
A vintage Austin Martin.
And apparently a really expensive candle.
Were really not making this shit up.
Why a leathery aroma?
Because its the distinctive combination of the interior of an Aston Martin and a dry Martini, of course.
I keep one in my bedroom and I take one with me when travelling.
It really sets the tone in a hotel room and makes it your own.
A lady will instantly know she is in a mans room when she smells the leather.
James Bond KFC ties
James Bond is an international icon of style.
And what says style more than promotional ties that you get free with a KFC meal?
Being John Malkovich Russian dolls
Most movie promo items are basically tat.
Not only do they make a stylish desk ornament, they also fit the films themes perfectly.
Arent we all John Malkovich on the inside, ultimately?
Theyll go great next to your Royal Dalton Predator.
Ghostbusters Ectoplasm Energy Drink
This is pretty cool, but also pretty disgusting if you think about it.
Would you really want to drink the gloppy green slime left behind by ghosts?
Of course, its a joke.
Its really just a cheap Red Bull knock-off.
Which sounds even less appealing than ectoplasm, to be honest.
Twilight Engagement Ring
Its easy to make jokes aboutTwilightfans.
But Im not going to do that.
Good luck to you.
Again, flame us all you want, but were not making this up.
An ice lolly was made.
Do your own gags here.
But why not also have that object also officially endorse a hit film as well?
Theres nothing wrong with that, right?
Thats not exploiting peoples faith at all.
It looked utterly, utterly disgusting.
Star Wars R2D2 Aquarium
So I have a dilemma.
I really want a good sized model of R2D2.
I also really want a fish tank.
But I only have a small apartment, and dont have room for both.
If only there was a way to combine them…
48.
But have you seen those films recently?
In the first one, The Joker dances around a gallery to Prince with a giant boom box.
In the second one, The Penguin has literal Penguins as henchmen.
Hes a very big dude in a Hawiian shirt.
How is he depicted in action figure form?
A buffed-up dinosaur wrangler wearing sunglasses who looks a bit like Jean-Claude Van Damme inTimecop.
ForStraight-Jacket, he gave out cardboard axes.
