I watched every episode, usually twice because HBO runs their series forever.
I like my vampires a little more sociopathic than the ones Charlaine Harris offers.
I thoughtTrue Bloodcould cover that.
Of course, that wasnt the point.
But Ball had his own stories to tell, his own mythology to create.
Some of the characters were very well suited for the screen.
Some, not so much.
But well never know because they never showed up for the party.
Here are some of the characters from the book series that were never unborn on the screen.
Sookie describes him as gorgeous and vacant.
He lifts weights for a living.
When he needs extra cash, he strips at a fairy Chippendale knock-off.
He is very loyal, kind of like a cocker spaniel, though he never turns into anything.
JB Du Rone went to school with Tara and Sookie, and didnt learn a thing.
Thats after she survived being made into a vampires love-slave.
Tara Thornton spends a lot of the book forgiving Sookie, while not really listening.
True Bloodcould have afforded a JB du Rone, they grow like magnolia in Louisiana.
Theres a reason vampires run from crosses.
Hell no, as Spike Lee told the Jehovahs.
Imagine that he was so big that the world felt his influence and knew what he ate.
Imagine probably the biggest solo rock star in modern history, so handsome they put him in movies.
So popular, his TV appearances made history.
So sexy, they could only film him from the hip-shaking waist down.
So big, he insulated himself from the world.
You dont like it, do you?
Or maybe you do, there are some people who love that shit.
Eddie Murphy wondered if they flushed that shit.
Youd turn him into a vampire, wouldnt you?
Hell, youd feed him your favorite cat.
But ultimately, I was glad when they put him to sleep.
Bubba could have swiveled his hips at one of the too-few orgies.
He would have given a great eulogy for Terry.
John Quinn
John Quinn is Sookies weretiger lover in the novels.
She had to have one.
He completed the set.
When hes not a tiger, John Quinn looks like Mr. Clean.
He almost held his own against Bill Compton, and Bill was pissed.
Broke Mr. Cleans jaw.
Quinn put together assorted vampire weddings and mutant motorcycle races.
He stages coronations and werewolf wrestling.
I think he put together a beer bong jamboree for some shifters in 07.
Quinns mom is crazy and his sisters taking lessons.
Or Quinn would have been a memorable addition.
He was a Gulf War Vet…theres evil everywhere.
Sounds like it goes good with Turkish coffee.
Desmond Cataliades
Desmond Cataliades was probably my favorite character in the book.
Mr. Cataliades is a semi-demon, but also a little devil.
By the last book hes even gathering souls and making deals.
Sookie first encounters Cataliades when her cousin Hadley dies.
Hes the reason she can read minds.
Desmond spilled a little blood into Sookies grandfather.
Cataliades is the great-great great grandfather of the first telepath Sookie encounters other than herself, Barry Horowitz.
Barry doesnt know this and Sookie never lets it slip.
He is also uncle to my second favorite character …
Diantha
DianthatalkssofastthatCharlaineHarrishastotypeherconsverationslikethis.
I wont do that anymore.
If I do its a typo.
Shes got pointy teeth and a killer smile.
Diantha would probably be the first person Id call to get rid of a body.
Charlaine Harris took the kill-the-messenger idea very seriously in her books.
Diantha had a no bullshit attitude and was a much better listener than a sharer.
She was completely without guile and yet, all guile.
True Bloodcould have inserted Diantha and Cataliades into the series in place of Jessica.
There was no Jessica in the book.
Jessica Hamby was supposed to be Bills punishment, not ours.
I was annoyed by Jessica when she was first introduced in the series and again later.
The affair with Hoyt Fortenberry broke the trance if only because Maxine Fortenberry is a perennial buzz-kill for me.
Appius Livius Ocella
Appius Livius Ocella is Eric Northmans maker.
In life, Appius Livius Ocella was a Roman soldier.
He was round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain.
In death, hes described as a bastard.
He turned Russian Royalty Alexei Romanov into a vampire because he didnt like commies.
Alexei was always a troubled child and hes no less troubled as a vampire.
Alexei is a true mad Russian and breaks Appius Livius Ocellas spine in a fit of clarity.
Appius Livius dies by accident when hes skewered by a fairy who was actually aiming for Sookie.
HBO could have picked anyone fromRome.
I could see Lucius Vorenus or Titus Pullo twisting the knife into this role.
The Viking Eric needed to be tamed, not nurtured.
Godric solved this by deciding not to exist.
It worked out for him, but not for the viewer, because he kept coming back in flashbacks.
Movies and TV shows have to shrink-wrap the books theyre based on.
They have to cut corners and make statements.
Very few movies are competely faithful to a book and almost no TV series.
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