Can you tell whether a movies going to be awful without even watching it?
Not even Michael Bay.
Forget the horrors ofA Serbian Film.
This is one sequence that, once seen, can never be forgotten.
See also:Robot Monster
2.
Those movies are immediately balanced out by two Martian efforts from 2000,Red PlanetandMission To Mars.
The reviews were bad, but the receipts were worse.
The lesson, therefore, is not to set your movie on Mars.
Notable exceptions:Total Recall, John Carter(we hope)
- Notable exception:The Two Jakes, Toy Story 3
4.
The most notable example that springs to mind isAmerican Psycho II.
Notable exception:Bride Of Frankenstein
5.
Peter Weller wisely bailed before the embarrassment ofRoboCop 3, with its flying law enforcer and robot ninjas.
See also:Red Scorpion 2, Universal Soldier II: Brothers In Arms
6.
By that point, you probably know your financiers dont have much faith in the film youve just made.
That, surely, is the most faint praise you might possibly give a film.
In some instances, the use of this technique can be quite mystifying.
Take the excellentThor, for example.
Similarly, Ben Afflecks superbThe Townwas From the studio that brought you The Departed.
Mostly, though, films that loudly trumpet their studio or producer are dismal affairs.
The posters for soggy thriller,Sanctum, excitedly announced the presence of James Cameron as executive producer.
For some reason, that genre is almost always comedy.
Compared to most other action stars, though, Arnies flirtation with comedy was quite successful.
Dwayne The Rock Johnsons own comedic effort,Tooth Fairy, fared little better.
The message to all action stars is, surely, stay away from family comedies.
This results in hideous posters like the ones below…
