Whether theyre bigger than a bus or smaller than your fist, spiders are commonly feared.
Heres Matts celebration of arachnids in the movies… Preferably great big giant ones.
The main reason being that generally, theyre just not very good.
Unfortunately, that storyline was pretty much exhausted back in the 50s.
Its made all the more effective by the knowledge that just one bite will mean almost immediate death.
Kingdom Of The Spiders (1977)
William Shatner versus thousands of tarantulas.
I reckon that if you were to pitch this film even today itd get the go ahead.
And for bonus entertainment value, all of the spiders used during the shoot are real.
Who could resist that?
That aside, however, this movie is great fun.
Theres even a few unmanly little yelps here and there to really seal the deal.
What more could you want?
Its basic concept concerns a gadget which opens gateways to parallel realities.
On top of this, the world they find themselves in is very nicely portrayed.
Its all absolute nonsense of the highest order, of course, but it sure is fun.
Most impressive among these is the lady who lives in the rather expansive basement with her pet spiders.
The best part about the scene is that its all created using gloriously gooey practical effects.
The Mist (2007)
Theres something in the mist!
He isnt wrong, and as it turns out, theres lots of somethings out there in the gloom.
Added to this is their unpleasant habit of using humans as breeding chambers for their hundreds of offspring.
To top it all off, theyve got heads which look like grinning skulls.
Maybe its just the 12-year-old kid inside me, but thats simply awesome.
Watching this on television is actually one of my earliest memories.
This could quite conceivably explain a lot.
Other arachnids of note:
Eight-Legged Freaks the movie that should have been Arac-Attack.
Ice Spiders remember those 80s comedies set in ski resorts?
Oh yeah, and loads of god-awful giant CGI spiders.
Starship Troopers absolutely brilliant sci-fi satire with loads of blood, boobs and big guns.
Well, nobody, because its a bloody stupid idea.
Nobody except for the makers of this wonderfully crap movie, that is.
