Quietly released in 2009, suspense thriller The Steam Experiment may be Val Kilmer’s strangest film yet.

Check out this bizarre synopsis from a UK cable listing… With a description like that, how could anyone resist?

The Steam Experimentplays out a little bit like the originalSawmovie, in that its a thriller with horror overtones.

Detective Mancini (Assante) is called in to find the six prisoners before its too late.

And right away, Mancini finds himself in a terse battle of wits with the twitching, perspiring Pettis.

Ever sit in a 130 degree heat, detective?

Know what happens to the body in about two hours?

ButThe Steam Experimentwas shot before 2012, and Pettis is convinced that the end is nigh.

Hundreds of millions of people are going to die, and thats a fact.

130 degrees in the middle of December.

In three years, the mid-west will be under water swallowed by the great lakes.

Ears of corn will be sold by the highest bidder.

Its an odd performance from Kilmer.

Kilmer looks hot and panicked, like a man desperate to get to the chip store before closing time.

Maybe thats why he looks so tense and shifty.

I like Viagra, blurts Eric Roberts footballer.

I like chicks who know what they want, offers the restaurateur from New York.

I like living the life of a neurotic, says the nervy romantic novelist.

Im your typical American romance writer who fancies herself a poet.

I didnt think it was a good idea to come.

Then I thought, why not?

Why not, indeed.

Which one of you [country gentlemen] was the last to touch that [flipping] door?

the Italian restaurant owner demands, as the true horror of the situation becomes apparent.

By this point in the movie, a few problems become clear.

One: all the steam room segments are shot through what can only be described as a Gatorade filter.

Within another two minutes, one of thems brandishing a length of iron piping.

A few seconds after that, someones dead.

Has he never seenBest Of The Best?

What the movie does have in its favor, though, is Kilmer, and lots of him.

In fact,The Steam Experimentis surely the weirdest movie Kilmers ever been involved in.

Midway through, Eric Roberts suddenly acquires a Texas drawl, which ebbs away again in the third act.

But mostly, its just weird.

Weirdly written, weirdly shot, and weirdly acted.

Were not even sure what the merry-go-round had to do with the plot.

Where did we leave that roll-neck sweater?

This article originally appeared on Den of Geek UK.