We’ve had virtual pets.
We’ve had Nintendogs.
It’s time to own a virtual baby.
Blob is 10 months old, has hair like Elvis and is dressed up like a cow.
He eats stewed beef, mashed apples and oat cereal and hes learning all about colours.
He likes playing patty cake and loves to be tickled.
He needs to be cleaned a lot and if you dont pay him any attention he starts to cry.
I think thats everything you should probably know… oh yes, I almost forgot.
He scares the hell out of me.
The only surprise here really is that its taken so long for developers to catch on to virtual parenting.
Then, from the age of six months, you raise it as your own.
This is where the first sign of creepiness hits in.
Its a mildly disturbing experience and is a suitable warning for whats to come.
No worry though as catering for each activity is staggeringly simple, involving touching a few items on screen.
If only real parenting were this simple.
That doesnt excuse how horrendously repetitive gameplay is though.
As soon as youve successfully got your child to sleep it instantly jumps back awake.
Naturally, it doesnt work with the resulting monstrosities scarier than a weekend with messers Krueger and Voorhees.
That is if they havent already hidden it beneath a floorboard somewhere to keep it safely out of mind.
Rating:
1 out of 5
