As we all know, October is the time to watch scary movies.
More often than not, that means having to watchreally badscary movies.
EnterRiffTrax, the long-running website that starsMystery Science Theater 3000mainstays Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy.
Here are thirteen targets that I highly suggest checking out.
Im going with all VOD movies because thats how I roll.
Also know that theres a good chunk of these available on Amazon Prime.
Don, in probably his last sane act, just shoots the mad scientist dead.
Like, say, deciding to inject a man with adrenaline to cure his mental problems.
Don, much like the movie, becomes increasingly insane.
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE (1959)
This was a combination that simply needed to be.
Theres more energy with the audience there.
Their plan their ninth plan is to summon a trio of zombies to cause trouble.
One of said zombies is partially portrayed by the legendary Bella Lugosi.
Its a stupid movie.
GHOSTHOUSE (1988)
Ghosthouseis an Italian knockoff ofPoltergeist.
In the haunted house genre, logic usually goes out the window.
While the actor is certainly enthusiastic, his delivery of really anything can use a lot of work.
Even his reaction to his impending death is comparable to the infamous, Theyre eating her!
Otherwise, enjoy the creepy girl, her clown doll, the Kramer-like groundskeeper, and the general incoherence.
Fast-forward into the early 90s and suddenly theres an ill-advised sequel bringing back both Carol Kane and Charles Durning.
When a Stranger Calls Backessentially has three stages to it.
The first is the endless opening sequence where our initial protagonist Julia is stalked during a babysitting job.
Then it becomes a pretty standard, if dull, procedural for the second act.
See, this isnt one of those mysteries where we know the bad guy before the reveal.
SILENT RAGE (1982)
Its refreshing when we can see someone fight back in ahorror movie.
Its cathartic when an unkillable murderer goes up against someone tougher than your average exhausted teen boxer.
Well, how about Chuck Norris?
In this early 80s romp, we mix the generic Chuck Norris action movie style with a slasher flick.
Its a curious little cinematic experiment that doesnt quite work, but is worth sitting through for the novelty.
It almost feels like someone played telephone withSilent Rageand came out with a movie with even less dignity.
Regardless, it means that theyre soon stalked by dopes in terrible rubber mask zombie outfits.
Their main hope for survival is the over-the-hill sheriff, played by Lash.
Lash also stars in the similarAlien Outlaw, which isnt quite as fun, but certainly has its moments.
This one stayed with me for a long time.
Namely the many shots where the director doesnt know when to cut.
They decide to lay low in a cabin for a little bit to work on their music and practice.
Then…man, I cant even do it justice.
The final ten minutes features a twist that comes completely out of nowhere with no foreshadowing whatsoever.
I STILL laugh about it to this day.
Im laughing right now as I throw in this!
Seriously, you’re gonna wanna watch this movie!
Instead of Adam Sandler, our Dracula is played by Judd Hirsch.
WithHalloweenon its way, there are rumors going around that Dracula wants to do away with the holiday.
Yes, that is a thing.
While we have the usual monsters like Frankensteins Monster and the Wolfman, the real treat is the Zombie.
Thats not me making a joke.
Despite its many similarities, the thing to remember is thatJawswas a masterpiece.
What you get is a familiar jaunt that is hilarious in its ineptitude.
I will give the movie this!
UnlikeJaws, we do get to see the idiot mayor get killed!
At least this movie knows to give the viewers what they want.
Not exceptional cinema, but cute as a live-actionScooby-Dootype of feature.
Sounds okay enough as an Abbott and Costello knockoff with musical numbers.
As the movie progresses, it continues to get stranger and stranger.
One of the highlights is a scene where Jeepers turns on a TV and watches a country performance.
Inexplicably, the video keeps changing to close-ups of the different villains creepily leering at him.
This was comedy in the 60s, I suppose.
Its the kind of movie thats almost coherent, but not quite.
It goes into various directions, but cant quite hold it together.
Then you toss in the exceptional overacting and youre in for a good time.
Those employees then start getting killed off in supernatural ways that mostly come off as suicides.
On paper, the origin of how Toulon created the killer puppets isnt bad.
It hits me as something that sounded cool as hell when the screenwriter put it together.
That may sound cool, but its one of the lamest fight scenes Ive ever seen in a movie.
And I saw Tom Waits vs. John Lurie fromDown by Law!
