Have you fallen for Funko Pops?
She mentioned how excited a certain someone was to display his collection.
Oh, no, no, no, Dad.
In the living room, she said.
But why would the wee man want his toys up on a wall in the living room?
The shelves arent for his toys, Dad.
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For the millionth time, I spluttered.
They are not toys, they are pop culture memorabilia!
…doesnt even put up the toy shelves himself, he added telepathically.
How did this happen?
In common with all stories about addiction, mine began with a single hit.
I had never heard of Funko; I had no idea of the vastness of their reach and range.
As indulgences go, at the very worst it was mildly frivolous.
my partner said a few weeks later, as she stared into the eyes of that tiny Heisenberg.
You bought a toy?
I pointed at Heisenberg.
He perpetuated the drug trade.
He choked a man to death.
He dissolved bodies in acid.
He poisoned a child.
He turned an old man in a wheelchair into a bomb.
In what universe would they make a toy out of him?
No, my sweet lady, that little guy right there is quite clearly… Ok, she said, not exactly convinced by my pitch.
But youre not going to buy any more of these… things, are you?
Im 36 for Christs sake.
Geordi La Forge came next.
Then Hershel fromThe Walking Dead.
I had to face the truth.
I was a collector.
A collector of Pops.
A collector of disapproving eye-rolls from my partner.
To say that theres something for everyone is an understatement.
There are thousands of Pops on the market, fromBioshocktoBreaking Bad,Game Of ThronestoGolden Girls,Roger RabbittoRobocop.
Best not to put him next to Speedy Gonzales.
The choice was staggering.
Which lines to collect?
My love of TV and movies is deep and near boundless; my tastes dizzyingly eclectic.
So why have they got such a hold over me, these stylised, semi-chibi, black-eyed little guys?
Why are they so important to me all of a sudden?
For a kick off, Im not looking for a return on an investment.
A Pops worth in the far-future is of zero interest to me.
I dont value them for their utility either.
It goes without saying that Im not playing with them, despite what my partners father might imagine.
So what does that leave?
That I like looking at them?
That I like them being on display for others to see?
Yes, of course.
Theres definitely a strong element of nostalgia.
Get to the choppa!
OCD and a sense of social justice have begun to creep into my decision-making.
I ordered Arrow and Daredevil Pops because there wasnt enough red and green in my collections colour-scheme.
Time for some cartoons and cybernetic life-forms!
Blast, I forgot about the gingers.
Over time, these models have arranged themselves into an extension of me.
I mightnt have minded had the victim been Ned Stark, but… Poor Buzz.
He didnt deserve to go out like that.
My Pops have become a bridge between me and my son, between one generation and the next.
Simply put, Im a giant man-child with an addictive personality who is also hopelessly nostalgic and sentimental.
Lets take them to the landfill.
Yes, Ill finally admit it.
My name is Jamie Andrew.
And I collect toys.
