Sometimes so dark it’s hard to see them.
Is there a special place in hell for him?
So much so, its distracting.
Constantine is paying an exorcism house call on the Spanish side of Los Angeles.
He performs exorcisms to buy his way into heaven.
You cant stop spiritual visions with anti-psychotics.
This isnt supposed to happen.
People are finger-puppets to them, not doorways.
On the other side of town, a woman takes a header from the roof of a mental asylum.
I didnt even see his face.
I just pulled the trigger and he went away.
Angela is told that her twin sister Isabel committed suicide, but Angela doesnt buy it.
Ultimately he dies of alcohol withdrawal because its hard for a priest to get a drink after last call.
She wants him to do surveillance on Hell.
You gotta get your feet wet if you want to go to hell.
Water is the universal conduit; it lubricates the transition from one plane to another.
Then Constantine and Angela grab a bite to eat, because burning in hell builds the appetite.
They use half-breeds as bookies, possessing or whispering to people to collect their markers.
with divine assistance, the help of God.
Constantine needs to sit down.
In the Bible according to … well, the one in Hell, Corinthians goes to 21.
Chas blesses the plumbing to get holy water on tap.
Constantine speaks fluent Hellspeak, but Chas is caught trying to pass and gets bounced.
The demons get veiny and bubble-faced and bugs come crawling out of their eyes.
Constantine gives Balthazar his last rites and threatens to send him straight to heaven.
Reeves overdramatically pulls every word out of the pits of his diseased lungs.
His scenes with Balthazar sound like one of those deep voice face-offs on30 Rockbetween Devon Banks and Jack Donaghy.
Rachel Weisz gives a multilayered performance as both the dead sister and the cop leading a double life.
Her spiritual rebirth is so labored that she repaired to her garden for her next movie.
Tilda Swinton gives Gabriel a morally ambiguous glam rock ambiance.
Gabriels clipped wings are painful to look at.
Djimon Hounsous Papa Midnight keeps the balance.
You dont want to upset the balance in his house.
There is no joy in their creepy descent.
Rating:
2.5 out of 5
