Stop calling Ed Wood “The Worst Director in History.”
His films have a unique energy and charm that should be appreciated.
People have been parroting the party line ever since.
Everybody says it, so it must be true.
Theres no reason to even bother with watching the films anymore so long as weve been given the answer.
Even with that, few people paid any attention.
Those were not paper plates or pie tins inPlan 9 From Outer Spacefor instance, but store-bought plastic models.
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I suppose theres little use at this point in setting the record straight.
Well, they werent.
They really arent as bad as all that.
The legend behind the film is pretty much true.
In the early 50s Christine Jorgensen had a sex change operation and became a celebrity in the process.
A low-budget producer wanted to make a quickie exploitation picture about her, but couldnt get the rights.
If you watch the film carefully, its easy to see how this worked.
She was mighty pissed when she saw the finished picture.)
In another cutaway we get an interpretive dance sequence for reasons I still cannot fathom.
He wanted Glenda to look shabby and obvious and decidedly male.
Well, that she does, for sure.
Then theres the narration which permeates the film.
He can work better, think better, even play better.
He can be more of a credit to his community and his government, because he is happy.
Its still fairly autobiographical, but told in a much more straightforward documentary style.
Its a film thats never, ever dull.
You cant stop watching.
Whats he going to jump to next?
Why is Lugosi God (or whatever he is)?
Whats he talking about half the time?
Bevare…Bevare…Bevare of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep.
He eats little boys.
Puppy dog tails… and Big fat snails.
Gordon is too often left out of the Ed Wood story, but he played a major role.
It still has its quirks, though and Woods dialogue is still unmistakable.
Dolores Fuller returns as the female lead.
The role instead went to Herbert Rollins.
So Wood gave him the lead.
Dons sister tries to talk some sense into him, but its no use.
That gun is jail bait!
Fuller says offscreen, thus justifying the films title.
Well, then Vic bullies Don into robbing a vaudeville theater.
Before the robbery we get treated to a long minstrel routine.
During the robbery and immediately afterward, Don panics and kills a security guard.
Things pretty much go to hell after that.
How Scorn Turned the Art of H.R.
Its not a great one, either.
The victim of an automobile accident.
Did you know that I needed to remodel that patients entire face?
And it was strenuous and very…very complicated.
Plastic surgery seems to me at times to be very…very complicated.
Bride of the Monster
Yes, well, scratch away at that one for awhile.
Tim Burtons account of the filming of 1955sBride of the Monsterwas about half accurate.
Woods regular cinematographer William Thompson was indeed color blind.
Unless youre making a color picture, is that really an issue?
He was actually quite good.
on a par with what youd find in some ofVal Lewtons movies.
Still, Fuller delivers her two or three lines with undisguised bitterness.
And as the male hero, he wasnt that bad.
The giant octopus that plays such a pivotal role in the climax wasnt broken.
Once again Wood wrote the script with Gordon, and you’re free to tell.
It may well be the best film Wood ever made and Gordon had a lot to do with that.
Janets sensationalistic newspaper stories about the monster werent helping things.
Dr. Vornoff likes his privacy, which allows him to conduct his experiments in peace.
As he explains to one early victim moments before throwing the switch.
You will soon be as big as a giant, with the strength of 20 men.
Or, like all the others, dead.
The production was shut down for a month as Wood tried to wrangle up the cash.
Once shooting resumed, no one was very nice to Becwar.)
As beautiful anyway as a monologue that includes the term a race of atomic supermen can be.
As usual though he never knows how to treat house guests.
Its all very exciting and surprisingly well staged.
Even if you arent willing to go that far, it at least holds together.
Without Gordon, Wood became a legend.
Believe what you want and youll at least be close to what really happened.
The story he built around the footage, if you think about it squarely, wasnt half bad.
A little convoluted, maybe.
But things dont quite go as the aliens planned, thanks to those earthlings and their stupid minds.
Theyre stupid!Stupid!
Okay, so in a nutshell thats the plot.
Theres been so much written aboutPlan 9that theres little point in saying anything more here.
Its easier to just watch the damned film.
Its 1959 release marked one of the few times a sequel hit theaters before the original film.
Yet in a strange way it works as a kind of summation of his films up to that point.
That might have been the idea, anyway.
Creatures to be pitied!
Creatures to be despised!
For the right price, Dr. Acula will raise your loved ones from the dead.
Its a process that takes a long time, though and costs an awful lot of money.
The shenanigans of some rambunctious youths are nothing, after all, compared with, yknow, zombies.
Pasty-faced people in nightgowns, anyway.
Along the way, the jittery Kelton drops references to bothBride of the MonsterandPlan 9.
Well, many slow things happen and we get the big reveal about an hour in.
That may be part of the reasonNight of the Ghoulsis so often ignored.
Its just a mild horror film played for some weak laughs.
Given that its an Ed Wood film, that makes it a failure.
She has a filmmaker, a photographer, some distributors and a lot of girls working for her.
There is one particularly sad scene, though, considering what happened to Woods career after this.
Hendersons in-house filmmaker (Carl Anthony) is watching some rushes in his office.
A poster forJail Baitis clearly visible on the wall behind him.
As he watches the films, his disappointment is clear.
Then he says, I watch this slush and remember how I used to make good movies.
The Sinister Urgeisnt a bad picture at all.
In fact its pretty good, even surprising and clever in parts.
It was as if Wood had finally gotten a handle on how to make a real picture.
Then the bottom fell out.
So maybe thats the final joke.
People can chortle at Woods pictures all they want.
30 years from now no one will know and no one will care.
But theyll still be watchingPlan 9for whatever reason and theyll still be having a good time.
So I guess that means Ed Wood wins.
