Alex takes a look back at one of the most, er, not bad films ever made.
It’s Highlander III.
This is remarkable for several reasons.
Finally, at the time there was noHighlander IV, it was, in fact,Highlander III.
In short Highlander IImay be the black sheep ofHighlanderfranchise, but at least people actually remember it.
Naming oddities aside,Highlander IIIis the single most not bad film there is.
AfterHighlander IIlowered the bar so impressively, thats all it needed to be.
And its very not bad indeed.
Of course, its not particularly good either.
Wake me up when its finished, kindly.
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Highlander IIIopens with a flashback, because this isHighlander.
You know, standard 90s movie fare.
And all the while hes dressed in a kilt.
Yes, MacLeod travelled all the way to Japan without ever changing his skirt or pants.
But, soon a bad man comes, by the name of Kane.
Unfortunately, like anyHighlandervillain, thats the sum of his character development.
After all, there can be only one.
MacLeod refuses, however, because there can be only two!
MacLeod escapes, and buggers off… somewhere.
This first scene establishes the intent ofHighlander IIIquite beautifully.
How did MacLeod become such a good fighter after Ramirezs death?
He went and studied with Ramirezs mentor.
What power does killing an immortal actually grant you?
Why, whatever magic theyve learned.
Why does MacLeod sound French?
Because he spent loads of time in France (this films forgettable subplot).
Its toIIIs credit it at least tries, even if its not that good.
Obviously, they bore too deeply, and release Kane and his two henchmen.
Im bored too, what a coincidence.
So, there can be only four!
Also, I forgot what the son is called.
Its okay, he disappears until the plot requires him again.
Im going to call him Popo.
Hes not really Connors son, hes just some kid he found in the desert.
No, thats actually the backstory.
In the same outfit as the first movie.
Of course, because its New York, MacLeod is shot immediately, but hes immortal, so whatever.
Continui… wait, what?
Yeah, in one slight retcon, MacLeod won the prize, but not mortality.
You know what, afterHighlander II, Ill buy it.
Why is he there?
How did he get there?
Why is Kane not with him?
Shhhhh, just go with it or theyll start talking about Zeist again.
MacLeod quickens, all over the bedsheets.
You know, MacLeods pseudonym from the first film.
So far, weve had a basement swordfight, some flashbacks, a police investigation.
Enter the weirdest part of the film.
Also in Japan is archaeologist Alex somebody or other, who is investigating the legend of Nakano.
Id wash my hands if I were you, Kane quickened all over that.
Meanwhile, in the past, the same actress is Sarah somebody or other, a random English noble.
No, seriously, these flashbacks have nothing at all to do with the film.
They just wanted to cut down on their casting budget a bit and fill time.
Thats some weird accounting right there.
And got Brenda killed in a car crash, apparently.
Connor avoids her, goes and does some judo practice, and then they finally start chatting.
Then, for no reason, Kane turns up, and they fight on trampolines.
He breaks Connors sword, then turns into a bird and flies away because… its a bit holy?
What about that huge private collection of swords he has?
Shhh, remember, they could start talking about Zeist at any moment.
But, it doesnt work.
And then more Channel 5 sex.
This one has a bum in it and everything.
Unless youre watching the version that doesnt have the bum in it.
Meanwhile, wed all forgotten MacLeod had a son, but Kane tracks him down.
Well, I say tracks him down.
You know, a bit like when the Kurgen did the same thing in the first one.
As it is, its the setup for the endgame.
The exchange is pretty much like this.
Cop: Youre under arrest for murder.
MacLeod: But my son has been kidnapped by a madman!
I have proof and everything, look!
MacLeod: Do you have proof?
Cop: Well, no.
MacLeod: Can I go now?
Cop: Fine, and youll never hear about this murder investigation ever again.
So, eventually, he gets to the factory.
And… its awesome.
Naturally, Connor quickens so hard he lifts himself off the ground.
And there it is.
The oneHighlandersequel thats just about alright.
Its not very good, sure, but thats not whatHighlander IIIneeds to be.
It needs to be at least respectable, and it is.
Its also very faithful to the original and quite entertaining, in a cheesy B movie way.
Probably best enjoyed with cheap booze for maximum effect.
You know, just in case someone were dumb enough to make yet anotherHighlanderfilm.
Why couldnt there be only one?
