Superhero team-ups are usually pretty straightforward in the Marvel Universe.
Except when they were in Marvel Two-in-One…
Marvel Two-In-One.
The book also featured some unusual guest stars.
And by unusual, I mean completely bugnuts out of left field insane.
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For their newly minted team-up book, Marvel turned to none other than the muck encrusted Man-Thing.
The Thing defeats Molecule Juniorby ripping off a chunk of Man-Thing and throwing it into the villains face.
Yeah, try that with Thor.
This issue set the stage for all the insanity that followed.
No character that appeared that randomly would miss an appearance inMTO.
Jack rescued the Thing from the mind control of the Machinesmith and helped Ben take down the robotic madman.
I would give you more of a recap, but I cant stop staring at that costume.
So…many…colors.
It is the insane pacing and nature of this story that makes it noteworthy.
Natasha is every inch Emma Peel in this issue as Ben is shoehorned into the John Steed role.
An orange, rocky, cosmic powered John Steed.
The story is known as Does Anyone Remember…the Hijacker.
Now, first, let us take the time to appreciate the dramatic pause within the title.
Second, let us answer the question: why no, we donotremember the Hijacker.
The Hijacker is one of those rare villains named after what he does.
He kinda sucked, but this team-up didnt.
As a gift, the FF offer to take Puppet Master to his home country.
At the end of the issue, Puppet Master swears to reform.
In his next appearancehe is totally evil again.
So much for Christmas miracles, but damn, is this story heartwarming.
Whatisodd is the batshit crazy story involved.
This one is another Christmas story that even trumps the Puppet Master zaniness.
Meanwhile, Reed Richards sends Ben to investigate a new star that points to an Indian Reservation.
Ghost Rider and Ben defeat Miracle Man and the tribe is saved.
The lesson you should take away from this?MTOChristmas stories are the greatest things ever.
What makes this issue so odd is the choice of the co-star.
As a member of the Inhumans, Triton is a regal and important member of the Royal Family.
And it has a fish guy.
This article is really, really long.
So its on more than one page.
Grimm gives his fallen past self the serum but future Ben does not mutate back to human form.
The book was so layered in paradox it will make even the biggest Grant Morrison fans nose bleed.
Ben reluctantly agrees and the three plan to spend a peaceful night admiring art.
The dude was an alchemist.
How is that scary?
Is a stone alchemist somehow scarier?
Yogi Dakor is a schmuck.
Now, The Cougar was not a middle aged woman who chased after young men.
Anyway, this book has a killer cover by none other than Jack Kirby.
If Ben could solve low sales he would have really been useful to some of these jerks.
Thats all you oughta know really.
Why is this installment even weirder?
Because it features Ben Grimms old rivals, The Yancy Street Gang.
Was Ben Grimm plagued by a gang of Bears throughout the 70s?
And why werent the readers allowed to see their faces?
Did they have faces?
The whole thing is just too much to consider.
What Moondragon is remembered for is being something of an arrogant bitch.
Thing pursues in a Skrull ship and challenges Moondragon.
Yeah, takethatdiversity and equality!
He should have spanked Moondragons hair dresser.
The Thing and Matt Murdock
Marvel Two-In-One #38 (1978)
Thing meets Daredevil?
Thing teams with lawyer Matt Murdock in a courtroom drama?
Its like teaming King Kong with Perry Mason.
When The Thing is brought up on property damage charges, Murdock must defend him.
During the course of the trial, Ben bugs out and busts up the courtroom and is found guilty.
A photo shoot with Peter Parker!
A physical with Dr. Don Blake!
A board meeting with Tony Stark!
Think of the story potential!
The Thing and The Blue Diamond
Marvel Two-In-One #79 (1981)
Who?
Of all the heroes that could have appeared inMTO, and they pick The Blue Diamond.
Isnt that a Lucky Charms marshmallow?
Yknow, Wolverine never appeared inMTO, the Punisher never appeared inMTO, but the Blue Diamond sure did.
The Blue Diamond was a member of the Liberty Legion who co-starred with Ben in two previous issues ofMTO.
Dude, you once fought a giant, floating swastika, stop with the navel-gazing.
And keep going to the final page for the 10 absolutely weirdest Two-in-One team-ups of them all!
What makes this issue particularly cool is that it takes place super early in Alpha Flights rich history.
Ben and Bigfoot work together to take on the alliterative menace.
The Thing and Absolutely Not Batman
Marvel Two-In-One #91 (1982)
Check out that cover.
Holy crap…Batman chained The Thing to a wall!
One can only imagine what an adult thought whentheysaw this sucker on the spinner racks.
While seasoned readers probably caught onto the gag, young readers little minds must have been blown.
Turns out the pointy headed shadow belonged to long time Nova villain, The Sphinx.
Thats right…its the return of the Living Eraser.
The story starts out like everyMTOstory starts out, with Alicia Masters in danger.
Finding themselves in Dimension Z (did I just write that?
), Morbius and The Thing make a deal with the natives of Z to bring the Eraser back.
Yes, Native Americans, dinosaurs, and obscure heroes.
What could be better?
It was truly unprecedented that genres, characters, and eras would mash up so seamlessly in one adventure.
The issue starts out with The Thing scaring himself by reading ghost stories before encountering the Dire Wraiths.
Soon, Rom shows up, and the heroes team up for the first and only time.
Seriously, she cant even put on a freakin hat without poop hitting the fan.
Lets just hope Alicia doesnt try on a strange pair of shoes anytime soon.
What they find is that Kinji Obatu, formally the villain known as Dr.
Spectrum, is controlling the monster.
With only two appearances under his, ah, straw, it is fair to call The Scarecrow obscure.
to an art gallery, a fiery demon bursts out of a painting and cooks Bens tux.
Despite him being an almost forgotten hero of Marvels past, The Scarecrow was a pretty cool looking character.
That lived in a painting, cant really forget that bit.
In classicMTOfashion, they share a few beers and the Sandman, the constant villain, reforms.
