From teenage werewolves to…regular werewolves, here are some prime Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes for Halloween.
Bad for the studio, good for us.
Theres a reason its considered by many to be the worst movie ever.
On paper, it isnt that bad.
The writing almost works, but everything else about it is a complete mess.
Watch MST3K: Zombie Nightmare on Amazon
SAMSON VS. Watch MST3K: Samson vs.
The story behind the movie basically explains everything that went wrong.
The writer and director William Sachs wanted to make a horror parody.
What we got is prime riffing material.
Stay for the amazing, old, randy couple who may be the best murder victims inMST3Khistory.
I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF
Experiment 809
This ones campy, but not actually all that bad.
This irresponsibility causes Tony to transform at the sound of bells and he goes about killing innocent people.
One of Tonys friends has a doofy musical number at a party called Eeny Meeny Miny Moe.
Its so stupid, but I laugh every time.
Unfortunately, due to rights issues, this episode isnt available in any official capacity.
So…keep circulating those tapes.
Makes sense, since Godzilla-types arent the kind of monsters that I really associate with Halloween.
is almost as priceless as the fact that the movie has the Skipper fromGilligans Islandas the sheriff.
The whole thing is an enjoyable mess.
Really look at it.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Etc.
Etc.is kind of like if you tookTeenage Werewolf, grabbed the badness dial, and turned it to eleven.
A fortune teller then hypnotizes him into becoming a zombie and he commits murders for her.
read more: The Best Horror Movies on HBO
Its remembered for two things, mainly.
One, the fortune teller has a hideous goon named Ortega, who became the shows replacement for Torgo.
Second, much of the movie is made up of inexplicable song and/or dance numbers by whatssupposedto be strippers.
These go on forever and get increasingly head-scratching.
Its part of the movies charm.
Despite brief moments of genuine creepiness, the whole thing is boring when it should be tense.
Hugo is alive, as we gradually discover, but Vorelli is the true monster.
There are some good laughs mixed in, but be prepared for some real dryness.
Watch MST3K: Devil Doll on Amazon
WEREWOLF
Experiment 904
Werewolfwas released in 1996.
TheMST3Kepisode aboutWerewolfwas released in 1998.
New or not, they were certain they needed to give it the business.
I will admit that the movies ultimate lack of plot does come off as somewhat original.
Here, a guy gets turned into a werewolf and then gets killed almost immediately.
A jerk decides to go infect someone else into becoming a werewolf and that doesnt last all that long.
The villains constantly altering hairstyle is something to behold, at the very least.
Watch MST3K: Werewolf on Amazon
HOBGOBLINS
Experiment 907
Oof, this ones rough.
Its 80s cheese balled up and thrown into the garbage.
THE TOUCH OF SATAN
Experiment 908
Touch of Satanis theTwilightbefore its time.
I dont mean because of the romance where one person is over a century old.
I mean that its a dull movie that pads itself out by taking 30 second pauses in-between each line.
Except the lines arent winners either, giving us such gems as, This is where the fish live.
Now the younger sister is an insane serial killer and is old as hell.
If anything, the movie teaches us the lesson that premarital sex actually saves people from Satans contract.
Watch MST3K: Touch of Satan on Amazon
SOULTAKER
Experiment 1001
Soultakeris a wonderful thing.
Coincidentally, Schilling wrote the story.
Its also a rather important episode ofMST3Kdue to the one-off returns of both TVs Frank and Joel.