For everyPointless, theresDales All Star Celebrity Family Kerplunk On Fire(actually Id watch that).
Some brave souls have tried to bring some of these shows back, with varying degrees of success.
If the viewers consisted of me and no one else.
Even Tony Green couldnt salvage it.
Bullseyeis not meant to be self-aware.
Its meant to be a light hearted darts quiz show, with prizes ranging from shit to brilliant.
It wasnt a terrible effort, but could in no way compete withBullseye.
It should be glitz and big prizes these days.
Lets face it, when they had terrible hair you wanted them to miss.
Heres how you redoBullseye
1: Keep the prizes good (they were good in the 80s).
Someone human and a bit eccentric, like Jim Bowen.
Chris Kamara, if he could be lured away from football andNinja Warrior, would be ideal.
The game show with a script written by Escher, contestants generally needed a Cryptography degree to win on3-2-1.
The shows legendary clues gave the contestant, at best, a tenuous link to the prize on offer.
I did actually solve one of the clues on3-2-1once, before they read the answer out.
That is how my brain works.
Sometimes I imagine my brain as being like some kind of steam powered cuckoo clock.
And what might make you never need a breeze?
So it could be the fan, or the tumble dryer.
Dont forget though, the clue is a brick.
Turning on the TV to see a programme about the exotic destination you could be going to.
Maybe somewhere in Central America!
Its this set of his and hers panama hats!
Clearly the first thing you oughta do for a reboot is get Alex to write the questions.
And God help you if you dont enjoy references to2001: A Space Odysseyand darts.
And Dusty Bin needs to be a vegan, because people are now.
But even though the creators hearts were in the right place, they never quite nailed the correct tone.
The original show was all about fun, and promoting fitness to kids in an entertaining way.
Bright colours, thumping rock music and cheesy grins everywhere you looked.
Thats how we ended up with Inferno, Tempest, and Atlas.
But that, to me, was where the similarities ended.
The reboot screamed edgy and gritty, from the wailing theme tune to everything being on fire.
But a gold star for effort nonetheless.
How to rebootGladiatorsproperly: Do it exactly like the original, and do it in the Birmingham NIA.
But keep making everything be on fire.
I did like that part.
Maybe theres also some room for more realistic gladiators to inspire the kids.
Kids today might be intimidated by endless supermen, and might benefit from a more relatable hero.
A night spent watching someone attempt to do basket weaving with their mum is just what they need.
I dont remember all the hosts, just Bruce Forsyth, Jim Davidson, and Sinead O Connor.
Tension was the key toThe Generation Game.
Will they complete the task, or just fall over then laugh?
Will the old contestant die from having to do the Lambada?
How many items from the conveyor belt will they remember?
Which brings me onto the conveyor belt (seamless).
Of course, one item appeared every week and became a national institution.
Thats right: the Stanley Knife!
Everyone knows it was a shit teddy.
Also a set of pans.
People love winning pans.
