Peppa Pig is a family friendly show, with some perplexing mysteries to it.
No Prime Ministers were involved in this article.
In the world of bacon-themed cartoons, they dont come much bigger thanPeppa Pig.
The following are my theories on why things are the way they are in Peppas world.
When my theories are not too insane, I back them up with actual facts.
Peppas house is built on top of what looks like Mount Snowdon.
So is her school.
So are her friends houses.
The reason all the animals on that show have such skinny legs?
To get anywhere at all they have to walk or cycle up a near vertical incline.
Well actually no, we should blame the creators Phil Davies, Neville Astley and Mark Baker.
(And the hill?)
…Well, its just that having a huge hill like that is so funny.
In short Peppa Pig is deliberately designed to emulate a typical childs drawing style.
This might also explain why all the characters have their noses growing out of the side of their heads.
This question has created many an argument online (usually started by me).
There are probably a lot of jobs Ive missed.
Well, both are sort of true.
Both these episodes prove that one rabbit does many jobs.
However, Miss Rabbit is not the only Rabbit.
She has a sister stay at home mum Mummy Rabbit, mother of Rebecca and Richard Rabbit.
One last thing Miss Rabbit is the only female who doesnt wear eyeliner.
This is presumably because she never has a long enough break from all her drudgery to put any on.
But there are a few exceptions to this rule.
Ducks, for example, are just ducks they swim around on the pond, quacking and eating bread.
Other pets owned by the children include a goldfish, a stick insect, and a gecko.
So why the divide?
I think the answer is simple mammals get to be human, birds, fish and reptiles do not.
What is the exact function of non-mammals in Peppa Pig?
Onebloggerfor the Houston Press puts it very succinctly they are slaves and food.
His post also proves that, somewhere out there, someone overthinks Peppa Pig as much as I do.
The characters on the show definitely do eat eggs, because they often have cakes and pancakes.
On a side note my boyfriend just said But Madame Gazelle is a bird!…
before going to have a nice lie down.
This would imply that she has a human rather than a pig body.
This is what Mummy Pig should look like under her bikini:
The explanation for this oversight?
There probably isnt one.
It probably wasnt an issue the creators thought of when they designed Mummy Pig.
Ha, I showed them.
This would not happen in real life.
Therefore, I would like to expand on the Houston Press bloggers theory.
The animals, quite sensibly, decided not to get involved in this war, and have therefore survived.
However, they have all been mutated by the radiation left over from the war.
All the animals are now huge, which is why they are the same size as Emily Elephant.
This is the only possible explanation.
I dont recall ever hearing anything about Daddy Pigs parents.
This is because Mummy Pigs parents are rich and scarily posh.
Of course, there could be another explanation.
Perhaps only one set of grandparents are needed to explain the concept.
Personally, I prefer the neck tattoo theory.
Peppa is four years old, and George is eighteen months old.
They have the same teacher (the inexplicably French Madame Gazelle) and the same lessons.
Except that Peppa is also learning the same things now as George is learning now.
I have a headache.
Is Peppa destined to repeat the same school year over and over again?
Also, why are any of them at school?
But there are two answers to this.
Firstly, that place is far too structured to be a playgroup.
Ive worked in a playgroup, and what Peppa and George go to is a school.
This is demonstrated by the fact that all the kids sit there behaving and listening to the teacher.
Once again, Im putting far too much thought into this.
Im sick of thinking about Peppa Pig.
Im also hungry, so now Im going to go eat some of her relatives for tea…
