Den of Geekwill be screening the originalRoboCopat Videology in Brooklyn on February 27th at 6:30 pm.
Well also be presenting an assortment of some of RoboCops least heroic moments.
With that in mind, enjoy this article dedicated to one of them.
you could find all the details on our upcomingRoboCopscreening right here!
TheRoboCopreboot certainly didnt have the same eye-crossingly strange aftermath that the 1987 film gave us.
He hadcomic book appearances that have spanned four different publisherswith one story getting its own video game adaptation.
He had a series of TV spinoffs that catered to a crowd too young to see the original movie.
He once showed up at a WCW pay-per-viewto save Sting from the clutches of the Four Horsemen.
That would come inRoboCop: The Series, the live-action TV show from 1994.
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For the most part, Commander Cash was just a fictional character and nothing more.
That all changed with the 13th episode, RoboCop vs.
Commander Cash, starring none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper!
Wait, would the sleeper hold evenworkon RoboCop?
Piper cant thumb him in the eye either, can he?
Reverse atomic drop seems counterproductive too.
Lets see how this plays out.
Instead of the Old Man, we have the Chairman, who is a little more dopey than corrupt.
Maybe this show isnt as bad as people make it out to be.
The chase comes to an end, RoboCop draws his gun and finds the van filled with children.
Eh, its different but it works.
A wide-eyed Charlie and deadpan RoboCop briefly look to each other, look forward and say, No.
I forgot to mention her.
You know how these things go.
Also, she happily splatters everyone with her Commander Cash bag-o-guts.
RoboCop surveys the mall, constantly having children ask him if he knows Commander Cash.
Theres a photo-op with Commander Cash, who says its great to meet with another superhero.
Then he drops a term thatll get used a lot in this episode, cartoon law.
RoboCop searches his databanks for what that means, but has no definition.
Commander Cash takes the stage and plays to the kids.
He says to take what they like…and do they ever!
Atwater is flabbergasted and horrified while even Brittany sneaks off to get in on this.
RoboCop, meanwhile, doesnt know what to do.
The children are acting like criminals, but he also needs to protect the innocent.
He throws the guy at RoboCop and tells the cyborg to arrest him.
Atwater turns it around and yells at RoboCop to arrest Commander Cash.
RoboCop advances on the spandex-wearing nutjob.
You cant arrest me!
And superheroes dont commit crimes!
In the midst of his own confusion, RoboCop allows Commander Cash to escape into the sky via jetpack.
In an attempt to explain it, Charlie asks if hes ever seen a childrens cartoon.
RoboCop has a flashback to his days as Alex Murphy, watching a superhero cartoon with his son.
Then it strikes him:the superhero always wins.
He never lies or breaks the law or anything.
Justice in its purest form.
Not to mention Gadget is usually above such things.
It took me way too long to realize that this was a giganticThey Livehomage.
I must be slipping.
When asked about the subliminal messages, Atwater defends himself by saying that it helps the economy.
Kids will want whatever Commander Cash tells them to get.
If their parents can afford it, great!
Lisa decides to get answers by getting some hotdogs with Brittany, and by hotdogs I mean hotdog buns.
I betthat bearded guy fromthe Happeningwould be ashamed of this.
His specialty was mind-control drugs and he actually created Super Flakes.
Brittanys a huge fan of the cereal and regularly eats a huge bowl for lunch.
Its the first time I get to wear the costume outside of Simons apartment, she says with enthusiasm.
I thought it was funny.
Commander Cash returns to the mall and pulls the same stunt as before.
He commands the children to stop him.
RoboCop cant bring himself to trample the surrounding brats, but theyre only so tall.
His arms are free to pull out his gun and bust a cap in Commander Cashs ass.
He literallyshoots him in the ass.
Hes like Kermit the Frog being attacked by bees and it comes out of nowhere.
The bullet turns out to be a tracking unit, meaning RoboCops able to find Cashs hideout.
Its an abandoned warehouse with a big sign on it saying, SUPERHEROES WELCOME!
Next thing you know, RoboCop is buried under a mountain of dry cement bags.
But not so fast!
Cash solemnly swears that he would never hurt a fellow superhero and asks for his trust.
RoboCop considers it and lowers the gun because, you know, cartoon law and all that.
What we get is a really cool comic book origin sequence.
The whole thing is shown with nothing but cartoon stills, narration and voice acting.
Cartoon Simon Atwater walks in to ask for a partnership.
He talks about how he has created a chemical that when mixed with calcium is a perfect mind-control agent.
Tex refuses because hes a decent man.
Atwater shrugs it off and leaves, but not without leaving a bomb behind.
Tex survives the blast, only to find that Atwater has stolen his ideas, including even Commander Cash.
Tex then dedicates himself to honing his body and becoming the very dream that Atwater stole and corrupted.
He would become Commander Cash!
All I knew was that there was something strikingly familiar about the masked man that I couldnt pin down.
I knew that charisma from somewhere.
Then in this scene, I saw that he was Roddy Piper with burn scars.
Awesome payoff right there.
Though now that I think about it, that may have just been his normal face.
Have you ever taken a good look at a 1980s wrestlers forehead?
Its scar tissue city up there from years of blading.
The video over, RoboCop awakens to see that Cash is gone.
Charlies found nothing of the sort and theyve even checked the box, the coupons inside and everything else.
Thats when RoboCop storms in to explain that it needs to be mixed with, a calcium phosphorus base.
Lisa doesnt get what that means.
The stage is set for the finale.
Theres another big press thing to promote Commander Cash, this time at the OCP offices.
You have Brittany dressed as Major Market, constantly feeding her face with the Super Flakes.
You have a girl tap-dancing while dressed as a giant box of cereal.
You also have a guy dressed as a cow, just kind of hanging out.
Already, its a good time.
Atwater goes to his office for something and finds Commander Cash waiting for him.
For some reason he didnt notice that he was walking directly towards him in his direct line of sight.
Atwater laughs it off.
This isnt just about money.
Immediately, Cash screams, WORLD DOMINATION?!
and bodyslams Atwater onto the desk.
Luckily, Atwater is able to fight back.
Not through fisticuffs, but through outright hamming it up.
Make no bones about it.
He pops up with a Commander Cash doll and throws it at Tex.
It explodes, sending him into the wall.
While laughing at Cashs comic book morality, Atwaters surprised when RoboCop busts through the door.
Luckily, he has Commander Cash there to pull the plungers off.
As he collapses, Cash smiles when RoboCop tells him that he really is a hero.
The Chairman is in the lobby, wondering whats taking Atwater so long.
Here we get a moment that makes me laugh uncontrollably no matter how many times I watch it.
Brittany says shell go find him and hands off her cereal to the Chairman.
I love that that was just written into the script, apropos of nothing.
They had to spend money on a cow costume and everything, but it was so worth it.
Lisa is there to arrest him.
Atwater grabs Brittany and holds a gun to her head.
Soon Atwater finds himself surrounded.
Then she backs off, shocked at her own skills.
Now Atwaters ham level has gone completely critical.
He screams that they havent seen the last of him and runs off towards the nearest exit.
and then sends him flying with a punch to the face.
The onlookers cheer him on, including Brittany and the Chairman.
Lisa happily arrests Atwater and drags him off, leaving Commander Cash to stand side-by-side with RoboCop.
Once again, good triumphs over evil.
And because the scene isnt rad enough, wind picks up and holds up Cashs cape.
Was it over-the-top and corny?
Most definitely, but you know what?
I actually really liked it.
Nobody died, but it still kept its cynical, corporate, dystopian roots.
Den of Geek is screening the original RoboCop on February 27th, 2015 at Videology in Brooklyn, NY.
The fun starts at 6:30.Join us!
This article originally ran on February 13th, 2014.
