1997 wasn’t the best year for comic book movies.
Spawn certainly didn’t do much to help.
We revisit the film…
Mark Dippe made his directorial debut withSpawn.
Very kind of you, Mark.
Listening to a commentary on a film likeSpawnis interesting.
Thats that nobody sets out to make a bad movie.
Spawnis a staggeringly poor film.
TheSpawncomic was a huge hit and a big budget movie and a cartoon version soon followed.
Then he has to save his family and slay the demon monster in hell.
Some are flat out awful.
When you consider other films of the time period,Spawnlooks bad.
The previously mentionedBatman And RobinorMen In Blackboth have effects, either practical or CG, that hold up.
Take the demon in hell.Sock puppets sometimes get together to snigger at how unconvincing the demon inSpawnis.
This might sound like a joke, but it actually happens; theyre my sock puppets.
The mouth doesnt even move in time with the dialogue.
But who gives a shit if you believe it?
Just dont make the mistake of seeing it.
God bless Leguizamo, its not his fault.
Hes a little teapot.
Even when Clown just looks normally evil, though, he never strikes you as intimidating.
Its never apparent as to why Spawn doesnt just pull his head off.
In another scene, Leguizamos Clown pulls off his underwear and shows us all a fresh, streaked stain.
I legitimately cant tell how Im supposed to respond to this.
On what level was this meant to land?
I honestly cant think of a film thats got a less firm grip on tone thanSpawn.
Its the cinematic equivalent of asking Danny Dyer to scream Shakespeares soliloquys at the funeral of a beloved relative.
There are some fart jokes inSpawnand theyre not funny.
How do you make farts not funny?
People have been laughing at farts since the first guff crept out from between a cavemans buttocks.
Bum noises are funny to us in a primitive way.
In including farts that arent funny, theyve managed to subvert the very core of human programming.
And here was me thinkingSpawnhad achieved nothing.
There are failures all overSpawn.
This comes from a news interview that takes place at the end of the film.
This is not played as a joke.
(Id certainly recommend watching it before I would suggest watchingSpawn).
Is there anything to like aboutSpawn?
I cant imagine what, though.
The soundtrack, maybe?
The soundtrack is pretty cool.
Spawn, the character, looks great for much of the film, so perhaps thats part of it.
Hes duller than dust, though.
Theres not a single member of Sylvester Stallones team of Expendables who has less personality than the hero inSpawn.
The only other thing we know about Al Simmons is that he has a small fluffy dog called Spaz.
Its just all shitty.
My suggestion would be that we not worry about looking back atSpawnany further.
We always try and look for the positives in these pieces, butSpawncan be left where it is.
