Steven Seagal and Vinnie Jones star in Mercenary: Absolution.
I wasnt involved in writing that one and didnt actually get around to reading it.
I heard it was good, though, and so naturally assume Seagal took the top spot.
It has proved a canny prediction as the film delivers.
Well, it has some flaws, but I think its alright.
If youre a fan of modern Steven Seagal movies then this is one of the better ones.
If youre not a fan of modern Seagal movies, this list is guaranteed to convert you.
Id stake theDen of Geekeditorial teams reputation on it.
WhetherMercenary: Absolutionhas actually turned out to be the best film of the year is currently unclear.
What we can say without doubt is that its the toughest film of 2015.
Its simply not possible that any other film this year could be tough enough to compete.
Thats the level of toughness were dealing with here.
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Here are 10 of the things that makeMercenary: Absolutionincomparably tough.
Steven Seagal makes films tough.
A group of PHD students conducted a study in hope of disproving this once.
The study never reached a conclusion as they were all sadly found with their throats ripped out.
Their throats are still missing.
Seagals on screen toughness shines angrily inMercenary: Absolution.
It never feels like hes in danger in this one.
Hes in a lot of fights but he never gets hit, for example.
Spoiler alert: no, nothing happens to it.
The coat is fine.
It happens again here.
Whatever your plan B is, promote it to plan A.
Attempting to trick Steven Seagal to death is not in your best interests.
Another character attempts to threaten Seagal in one particularly violent scene, warning him that hes outnumbered.
A little knowledge of Seagal cinema informs us that this, too, is a poor idea.
If anything, it makes him even hornier for revenge.
I cant even get him to read the script.
Its also, subtly, linked to his characters new found desire to do just one good deed.
It works and its really nice that they put some effort into this area of the film.
By humanising what is essentially a superhero they manage to make this film even tougher.
Byron Mann plays Chi, Seagals sidekick.
Some readers may recognise Mann as the actor who played Ryu in the 1994 film adaptation ofStreet Fighter.
Here, Manns really good; he can film fight really well and hes got charm.
He swaggers about on screen with a smile, giving the sense of an actor whos enjoying himself.
I think Mann does a good job.
He pours boiling water on one of the bloodied toughs and demands to know who they work for.
The bashed up baddie isnt giving anything away.
As further luck would have it, though, they werent just boiling the kettle when he arrived.
They were also heating up some soup.
You know what, Byron?
A lot of people work for their boss.
It doesnt mean you tip a kettle on them.
The answer is simple toughness!
Vinnie Jones is a wonderful ham inMercenary: Absolution.
He puts in a very big, angry performance.
In truth, this isnt the toughest role Jones has played.
He tends to attack vulnerable people and is able to control people using his status.
Okay, so its arguable.
We need a full Blu-ray release to clear this hand hair issue up.
It was really just a fun way to highlight that this film suffers from some obvious Seagal stand-ins.
Maybe everyone is just tense because they sense a chaotic and bloody shootout is in the air.
I hate dancing and Im terrible at it.
Im not sat here waiting for you to ask me to join in.
I have a beer and a chair this is everything I want from a wedding.
What was I talking about?
A chaotic and bloody shoot out occurs.
The awkward dancers were right.
Josh Barnett plays an American enforcer, working for the bad guys.
A lot of you are likely unfamiliar with Josh Barnett.
You dont know anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that knows anybody that can kick my ass.
So I dont know what youre gonna do here.
And hes actually right!
Im really pleased to report that Barnett is a bit of a stand out inMercenary: Absolution.
Hes natural in front of the camera and can really film fight.
He actually chops into the guys neck.
What Id like to do is give you a nice simile here.
Its like…nah, cant do it.
The final showdown is great because the film actually has a bunch of characters.
So, Mann and Barnett duke it out, with lots of big kicks and rib-rattling knees.
Being tough isnt about fighting effectively; its about looking cool as shit by throwing wild kicks.
Hes able to shake the near-fatal shooting off without too much trouble.
This big finale is as tough as movie endings come.
Then, theres a brief wrap up, the credits roll and thats it.
