The ABCs of Death is a movie romp through the world of horror from A to Z.
What an ingenius concept!
This film contains 26 unrelated vignettes directed by some of the best names in indie horror.
Though not every vignette could be considered horror.
They are tied together by the theme of death.
Each director was given a letter and allowed to run with it.
And they branch several different languages including Spanish, Japanese, French and English.
Some are done with no dialogue at all.
This movie has something to horrify and disgust everyone.
The author of this article actually had to fast forward through one that proved a little too disturbing.
But well get there.
The movie doesnt shy away from some really awful things including child molestation, suicide and sex.
Sexuality, bodily functions and body horror seemed to dominate the vignettes.
These three themes are very difficult to pull off.
There is a fine line between examining sex from a horror lens and just making some very odd pornography.
And when it comes to bodily functions, its easy to make us laugh instead of scream.
Some of the films that attempted these two themes failed miserably while others were triumphant.
Other films were incredibly unique and examined issues like suicide, the lies we tell to children and pedophilia.
And then well explain why the author of this article had to skip one.
And that taboo is violence against cats and dogs.
Dog lovers will rejoice in knowing that there is a happy ending to this piece so read on!
This vignette tells the story of man vs beast.
In what gives the impression of an underground fighting circuit, a man is pitted against a dog.
The two fight it out for an excruciating amount of time.
In fact, earlier, he saw a missing poster with the dog on it.
So he calls out Buddy.
And there is a moment where the dog and man both acknowledge that they shouldnt be fighting each other.
They should be fighting the real animal.
The man who has forced man and mans best friend to fight.
They almost share a common humanity as they face off against their mutual enemy.
This is probably the best and deepest of the 26 stories.
Remember when we said there was something to horrify everyone?
Well this one is dedicated to you arachnophobes.
This short is pretty disturbing for anyone though.
It is another man vs beast, but this time the beast is quite a bit smaller.
Our protagonist is being stalked by a spider crawling up the wall.
He has attempted to kill it, but has been unsuccessful.
And we dont know for sure, but we think that the spider has bitten him.
Days pass and he seems to be having a reaction to the bite.
He begins to feel ill and finds sores on his face and neck.
And then there is a mysterious ringing in his ears.
During the climax he is finally able to kill the spider.
But the spider has one more surprise for him.
The ringing in his ears becomes unbearable.
And then hundreds of baby spiders crawl out of his ear.
This is a wonderful piece of body horror.
In this case the mans ear has become an incubator for baby spiders.
This is an unnerving and unflinching look at death.
The author of this article had to watch this short vignette twice to really grasp what was going on.
Its haunting and subtle and without dialogue.
We are taken on a suicidal journey in the first person.
This is shot entirely from first person point of view.
We see a person park their car.
They go into their trunk to retrieve a surfboard and a bag full of bricks.
They paddle into the ocean and drown themselves.
We are left there.
Lingering in the first person as we sink.
And the screen begins to go dark.
And we are left there.
It is claustrophobic, terrifying and strangely peaceful.
It will leave you speechless.
Mixing sexuality and horror is difficult to do well.
If there is too much sex it ends up being weirdo porn.
Too little and it ends up a snuff film.
You have to find a happy middle ground.
Which is exactly what Timo Tjahjanto does.
The plot is very simple: two men are competing against one another to see who can ejaculate first.
The winner gets to go on to the next round.
And the loser is killed via a spike driven up his body.
As the rounds go on, the images they are shown are more and more horrifying.
It starts out with a sexy woman and moves on to things child pornography.
What these men have to do so you can survive is enough to make a person gag.
And yet some of these men appear to be genuinely enjoying the child pornography.
Our protagonist loses at this point and ends up being killed as a part of the next round.
It is horrifying and nauseating to say the least.
We say, well done!
Lets start with a macabre joke shall we?
How do you lose 20 pounds in a week?
Cut off your leg.
We were wondering how they were going to tackle the letter X. Xavier Gens nailed it.
This exquisite piece of body horror is enough to make any horror fan happy.
They seem to be harassing her as much as the people she meets.
When she arrives back at her apartment the same models are on television.
She goes into the kitchen and begins to binge and purge.
Which is difficult to watch but hold on, it gets better.
She then begins to cut the fat off of her stomach in a fit of rage.
She then begins to cut it off her face and thighs.
She is bleeding profusely when she goes into the shower.
When we witness her emerge, she has cut all the fat off her body.
She is finally skinny.
And she collapses and dies.
And that womens lives are worth more than a number on a scale.
And how lives are ruined in efforts to modify the body.
Strangely this is the most feminist piece in the whole bunch and it was directed by a man.
It doesnt work and it was just awful.
Just some strange farting.
What is up with this one.
We never thought wed have to write Nazi Furry porn in an article, but here it is.
This is just Nazi Furry porn.
It is really bizarre and not very well done.
Plus, Nazi Furry porn.
This is where the mix of sex and horror DOESNT work.
Thats the whole damn story.
The concept is great but the execution is just meh.
Its a great twist ending but it is so short that it cant convey any meaning.
And this theme has been done and done well.
It wasnt that this was a horrible piece.
We just feel it could have been done much better.
They brainstorm things like walrus and warrior.
When suddenly zombie clowns attack, colored chemtrails fill the sky and a beautiful warrior battles a giant Walrus.
Leaving everyone, including the audience, thinking, WTF?
It was a great concept that could have been done better.
A woman with a giant penis with a sword sticking out of it fights another woman.
In a post nuclear Japan.
That now worships America.
And a lot of rice ejaculation.
We dont really even know what goes on this film.
There is so much and its so bizarre that it doesnt work.
Again, a sex and horror vignette that isnt done well.
So it comes off as a messy mixture of awful.
Rating:
4 out of 5
