The Den of Geek interview: Colin Bostock-Smith

Colin Bostock-Smith has penned umpteen television and radio comedies throughout his distinguished career.

Here, he joins Den Of Geek for a talk about his work.

Colin Bostock-Smith is one of Britains most prolific comedy writers.

He spared some time with us to talk though his career.

How did you get involved with writing for TV in the first place.

Your background before that was in journalism and magazines?

Yeah, I wasted many years of my life!

I came into it throughWeek Endingon Radio 4.

A lot of us started there.

I started writing bits and pieces for them.

You get the odd line on, and then a little bit more on.

Segued into it rather neatly, I think.

John Lloyd was the producer there at the time.

I understand you did lots of writing for lots of people before you got toNot The Nine OClock News?

Well, I sometimes get muddled on the what came first and what came next.

I did write forBasil Brush, his last two series.

He was the old Basil, when he was funny.

I wrote for various radio shows, I had a radio series called My Sainted Aunt on Radio 2.

I worked onBruce Forsyths Big Night,which was a huge, disastrous Bruce Forsyth show.

And I wrote a thing calledMetal Mickey.

And that was Mickey Dolenzs show wasnt it?

Yeah, he was the director/producer.

We did 41 of them and I wrote the lot.

Metal Mickeywas a hugely ambitious show for what you were trying to do?

The robot could do 21 different things.

Ive known a lot of actors who cant do 21 different things.

He was pretty good.

And we had a very good cast, including Irene Handl.

So we had a lot of fun with it.

It was quite popular.

I kid you not.

The floor manager had to be moved, he would not talk to the robot.

Who was your sympathy with there?

I dont think I gave a …

I just laughed, it was very funny.

I suppose it was a bit unprofessional on both their parts.

Basil Brushs was a lovely person, a terrific character.

I worked for Roland Rat, and there was David Claridge.

These people are all slightly off-beat you know, because theyre living their lives through other characters!

Very, very clever man.

He produced some ofThe Monkeesshows, he wasnt just an actor or singer.

He was very adroit.

One week we werent working because Michael couldnt be there.

So when he came back I said where have you been?

Youve written for a lot of shows.

How involved was the writer allowed to get then with the production of their work?

Otherwise the concentration isnt on how the actual plot or thing is working.

But with other shows its surprising how distant you’re able to be.

I never went to a recording ofNot The Nine OClock News.

I once went to rehearsals, and I went to a couple of meetings.

Basically I sat at home, churned it out and sent it in.

Do you like to go on set, or do you prefer keeping your distance?

Certainly the way things have gone in the modern world, they want writers there all the time.

Youre expected to be there at 9 oclock or earlier, and dont get away until late at night.

Theres tremendous desire for the writers to be there.

Thats they because theyre all on much tighter margins now, so they work everyone theyve got much harder.

Sometimes youre closely involved, otherwise not.

I wrote several sketches for The Two Ronnies, but never went to one of their recordings.

Is that a regret?

I dont want to sound blase about it, but recording studios can be tedious places.

And also theres not much you could do about it if it is going wrong.

I was often quite glad I didnt have to be there.

So things likeNot The Nine OClock NewsandSmith & Joneswere remote assignments?

Does that take the pressure off?

For something, for instance, onThe Two Ronnies…

There was a pressure.

The pressure was really self-induced.

After a time, that develops into I must try and do it.

It takes a long time.

You drive yourself forward.

Then of course theres the financial aspect: you need the work.

Is it easier or harder?

Tony Parker was the director, marvellous man, made you feel very welcome.

As a result, it was easy to fit in and do a show.Terry & Junewas a nightmare.

Im not going to go into that.

Just not an experience you enjoyed?

It was enough to put you off for life.

Lets just say that one of the stars was not a very amenable chap.

I read somewhere that you did plots for Disney stories in the 1980s?

That was a very strange, strange business.

It consisted of two Danish guys who came to London.

There was a couple of us doing this.

We would come up with ideas for Disney comics, the stories for them.

In the meantime, they stood us a very good lunch.

They spent a week every month in London, on expenses!

And was this for comics or books?

Im not sure that we ever really had it here.

But it was huge in Europe.

It was very much a sideline, something you knocked off in an afternoon.

You also adapted a couple of shows and films into novels.

You turnedShelleyinto a book, and novelised the Graham Chapman filmThe Odd Job.

Is that a fairly straightforward process?

I got the job when the BBC was on strike.

There was no work around, but I got that job at the time.

It tided me over very well.

Im still actually rather proud ofThe Odd Job, I think its a rather good book.

I still see it around, I saw it in a second hand bookshop the other day.

And theMetal Mickeybooks…!Did you write those too?

I wrote a thing calledThe Metal Mickey Boogie Book.

Just a little paperback.

Ive got that you were writing forCrackerjackas well?

Ah yes, yes!

I wrote a lot for The Krankies.

They were lovely, marvellous people.

I met them the other day.

I occasionally do speeches on cruises.

I met them on a cruise the other day.

Yeah, they were the two most successful things that Im most proud of, yeah.

Me & My Girl was extremely successful.

And he said that when they came there, there was a sitcom running calledMe & My Girl.

He said it was very successful, but didnt like it.

So he cancelled it, I remember the day.

I thought of writing him a letter saying thanks Greg, its only my career!

That must have been quite a blow at the time.

It was bloody annoying, Ill tell you that.

The people were terrific people, it was a joy to write.

It swung along splendidly, but there you are.And can I ask you aboutRoland Rat?

I read that Richard Curtis was in there at the start as well…

Yeah!

It was Richard Curtis.

Richard really made it I think.

He invented the sort of ghastly, strutting character who believed he was so bloody wonderful.

The thing about it is, theres a reason I enjoyed doing them.

Puppets can say things that a person cant.

We were able to be wonderfully rude with Basil Brush to guest.

Upset Frankie Vaughan terribly, by referring to his one hit.

And then getting it wrong!

Yes, I never wrote any of those shows anyway, includingMetal Mickey, for children.

I always wrote them for myself.

Within obvious guidelines, you know, but basically I wrote them to make the whole family laugh.

And thats the way to go about it.

In the 90s, there wasAs Time Goes By.

Ive never written a word of it.

But youre extensively credited for it?

I didnt even write the title.

It was my idea, you see.

Did you ever get a chance to write it?

I wrote an original episode, which sold it.

Which I thought was lovely.

I grow tired of telling people it was just my idea.

Thats what it says on the credits: From An Idea By.

Do you have any regret about that, or are you happy with the way it worked out?

You cant regret these things.

Id have loved to have written it of course, but there you are.

Its huge in America.

I was quite the celebrity.

Do you prefer writing sketch or sitcom?

Songs were a huge success.

We did an album of them.

I had eight songs on the album.

Was Atmosphere one of yours?!

No, no, no, no.

We did the satire songs!

We did send ups.

It was done by Ronco Records, who used to advertise them on television.

Didnt get a penny for it!

Is the sketch stuff easier to right, more liberating?

You do start from nothing most of the time, which is always very challenging.

I spent an awful lot of time walking around wondering would this be funny.

But when it does work, its lovely.

It was a sketch about the two of them having a game of squash.

They were so nice about it.

So I was bit flattered by that.

There was a great sense of satisfaction.

It still is funny.

Well with an episode youre dealing in something thats ongoing, usually.

I suppose some sitcoms are a series of sketches joined up.Men Behaving Badlywas frequently like that.

To me it was the interplay of the characters that gave you what you wanted.

A sketch is often just the exploring of a silly idea.

And do you find your ideas by just walking around?

Yeah, its like a lot of things.

That sort of things happens.

I do a lot of wandering about the house, walking by the sea.

I do make notes and sometimes things do come together.

Its remarkable how they show some of the old shows on television today.

You think that was done 20 years ago, for prime time television!

What is certainly true is that comedy has toughened up over the years.

It was a factor with me.

I really found that I wasnt up to, I was getting too old.

And you do get too old for things.

I found it pretty difficult.

And I appreciate that some of the stuff they do these days is absolutely fantastic.

I love American comedies too.

I like anything that makes me laugh, and most things do!

Do you think now that comedy writer gets the respect they deserve?

More comedy writers seem to have a profile today.

Yeah, well of course you get a lot of writer/performers these days.

I didnt start appearing in public until I started doing the cruise ships.

I never really got the opportunity anyway.

I envy them in some ways.

The same time of course, there are so many people in comedy now.

Comedy is such a vast thing.

Im thinking why arent some of these people television stars?

And actually some of them are, but on shows you never watch.

It is very impressive I think.

One of the most recent things I saw that youd done was the Anne Robinson programme…Yeah!

That was the last TV show that Ive done actually.

Where did you fit into the show?

I wrote stuff for Annie.

My son works a lot for her.

He does her outtake show, and he doesWeakest Link.

We both know her very well.

I really admire her, shes terrific.

There was and there wasnt about the tension between the two.

You need a bit of tension to make things work well I think.

But there you are.

Then theres Clive James…

I did twelve years with him!

I got that youd done stuff early in the 80s.

And of course the end of the year things.

We had a lot of fun with them.

We got a BAFTA with one.

The weekly shows too were a great challenge, great fun.

Working with Clive was like you were working with the real creme de la creme.

This giant intellect, very funny.

We literally sat in a small room together and made each other laugh, for all those years!

I had lunch with him and hes still in good form.

He probably should be back doing some more, but he has other plans.

And what are your plans at this stage?

What are you looking to do now?

Well, the only thing I write regularly for now is the websiteThe First Post.

I write a couple of cartoons for them every day.

Yes I did, Im very proud of some of those.

Some of them are very serious stuff.

I made 13 television comedies there, using local people and local gear.

And we got them on Zambia television.

Very, very proud of it.

But on December 2nd in the Peterborough Evening Telegraph…

… that was me!

Yeah, it was.This is where you wrote of The Beatles.

Not nearly as bad as they might have been do you stand by your comment?

Yeah, I think so!

They were bottom of the bill.

I was absolutely delighted, because they didnt feel the need to explain who I was!

They just put it up!

It has been an interesting life, and Ill tell you what caps it.

Im now very old and have to arrange my old age pension.

And I have to ring up the pension people.

I was talking to them, giving them details and they have to ask you all sorts of questions.

Half way through, this Scottish man said do you mind if I ask you something?

And I thought youre going to ask me my mothers maiden name or something.

And he said are you the Colin Bostock-Smith?

And I said on the day on my pension, I thought thatll do!

A nice little capper!

Colin Bostock-Smith, thank you very much!