You know the list of names by now.
In retrospect, that decade also seems slightly innocent in the way it viewed the world.
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But, I wouldnt change it for the world.
Im sure hed be thrilled.
Top Gun (1986) Its playing with the boys.
Do you see a woman in that picture?
No, I thought not.
having just consoled his buddy with a nice cuddle.
The cuddle might be okay, but the moustache is not.
Just go and watch it again and tell me that it isnt missing a passionate meeting of lips.
American Ninja (1985) Its all about the red shorts.
During their first encounter, Jackson confronts Armstrong, calling him out as being a wannabe hero.
One assumes this was to bring him round to consciousness, only Jackson wasnt out cold.
To put an end to all the innuendo-ridden fight talk, Dudikoff then chokes him with his large hose.
Thats not a handshake, its a proposal.
American Ninja 2, but you get the idea.
Rocky 3 (1982) Frolicking in the surf.
I am athletic, after all, and I have good legs.
Hell, even the moustache looks manly, as only a man could grow such finely groomed facial hair.
I have fantastic abs.
Why on earth arent these bad boys on show?
Theres my girlfriends top, thatll do.
Shudder
And look what other fashion item is recurring.
Oh yes, indeed.
Its the red shorts, and the tiny kind too.
That would be the slow motion hug in the surf then.
Did you forget where you were?
Predator (1987) Get to the chopper!
(sorry)
Now, if youre a fan ofPredator,I suggest you look away now.
Its not too late for you.
Well, the opening scene between Dillon (Carl Weathers again!)
The CIA got you pushing too many pencils?
No one pushes Arnies pencil except himself, thats for damn sure.
Poor Anna can but carry twigs.
No Retreat, No Surrender (1986) Stand on your own!
In the naughty corner.
Now, take a good look at the above image.
Theres mischief in those eyes, believe me, I know.
Luckily for R.J. Madison (played by J.W.
Ah, young love.
Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991) Say what now, Brandon?
Dolph has just shared a hot tub with the lovely Tia Carrere (playing Sgt.
Chris Kenner and Minako Okeya, respectively).
Seconds later and its all over.
Id be frightened too.
Were in trouble here, champ.
Theres more bad guys than we have bullets.K:Take this.
(Hands him a shotgun bandoleer)M:What about you?K:Dont worry about me.
Tango And Cash (1989) Dont flatter yourself…, peewee!
Ahhh… Raymond Tango and Gabriel Cash.
What a classic and massively underappreciated gem it is, too.
Now, back to the article at hand.
Maybe its just me.
Maybe its Kurt Russells lovely long hair and piercing blue eyes.
Or maybe Ive just been writing this list for too long.
Navy Seals (1990) Rain grenade?
Golf carts, pink shorts andThe Boys Are Back In Towndo not equal macho.
Still, at least its nice to see some of James Camerons boys having fun.
I dont care how good his legs are.
Tears of Rageis right.
Just tell me who did this to you Michael and Ill make it all better.
The Transporter (2002) Go greased Statham, oh greased Statham!
The Fast And The Furious (2001) Shiny boys with shiny toys.
The Fast And The Furiouscould well be a film accused of overcompensation.
In fact, both his filmA.W.O.L.
A.W.O.L.has someone say to Van Damme, Youre kinda pretty.
They dont write them like they used to.
I mean just what in the hell is he, apart from terrifying?
Stay back, you freaky metal bondage Jason Vorhees.
I am wearing red shorts as I write this.
