From Squirrel Girl to Doorman, we look at Marvel and DC’s more unusual comic properties…

These are the stories that we will never endure a dark, gritty, origin-retooling feature length version of.

Heres what we found.

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What does he do?Exactly what his name suggests.

Matter-Eater lad boasts the power to bite through and consume all forms of matter.

That he was regularly written out of adventures is a mystery, really.

Who?The superheroine known as Dazzler is a part-time X-man and full-time 1980s cliche machine.

She later went on to explore other genres.

DCs Skateman can stay away from cinemas for similar reasons.

Or is that just me?

Hes technically a mutant and dates back to 1989.

Doorman has a dry wit which makes him slightly cooler.

Got a locked door or impenetrable structure to infiltrate?

Literally any other teleporting needs?

If he had to be in a movie…As a mutant he would have to join FoxsX-Menmovie universe.

Wolverine could point out his naffness for our entertainment.

Phillip Grayfield, the eponymous SuperPro, was the central hero.

Who?This one has come dangerously close, having appeared in some Cartoon web link shorts.

What does he do?Break dancing!

Even Batman couldnt make him cool when he took him under his wing.

Tony Stark didnt immediately jump at the idea of a squirrel-themed 14-year-old superhero, but was soon impressed.

She later takes down MODOK and Thanos, genuinely.

It seems we all hugely underestimate the heroic potential of communicating with squirrels.

Can you imagine a squirrel-based battle being the end to phase after phase of Thanos build-up?

This is another example of the classic stupid-name-meets-stupid-power DC character creation method.

Thankfully, he never got fully explored.

What does he do?Again, his name is very on the nose.

Jeez, 1980s DC was full of great ideas.

Henry Cavills straight-laced Supes could be the judge.

Who?The first supervillain on our list, this 1970s Marvel creation is actually kind of likeable.

hypnosis to get what he wants.

He later tries to do some kidnapping for Doc Ock, and fails.

Who?No, not the loveable spaceship-flying N64 character, this Starfox is a Marvel property.

One who uses his powers so unethically that even Kevin Feiges risk-taking MCU wouldnt touch him with a bargepole.

What does he do?Ever wanted to see a superhero face sexual assault charges?

Of course you havent.

Well, thats the main thing Starfox gets remembered for.

If he had to be in a movie…Nope, not for this guy.

What does he do?Dresses up as a pig and fights crime.

Spiders, bats, owls, these are cool animals to dress up as.

For some reason pigs just dont deliver.

Need to know more?

Well, boasting the mutant ability to drive any vehicle (however new or weird it is!

), Razorback also had a series of cool rides nicknamed the Big Pigs.

What does he do?This is the good bit.

Who wouldnt want the ability to summon three genetic relatives from various points of human evolution?

When Jeffries went bad, Manikin stepped in and helped stop him.

One fight with Jackal later, Manakins powers were changed and he wasnt really heard of again.

Despite never getting that popular, DC felt the need to buy out the property in 1956.

A teched-up female version followed years later.

Spidey describes this clumsy version as trying too hard and she is rarely heard from again after.

Wed rather see the original Stilt-Man as a recurring baddie in theDaredevilNetflix show, though.

He was soon thrown out.

If it had to be a movie…We would probably beg Hollywood to reboot Spider-Man again instead.