Er…

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This is fair enough because, to quote James Bond, everybody needs a hobby.

For all we know, Bond might also be into origami and bell ringing.

In most movies, we never find out.

It would cut down on the confusion, he quips, awkwardly).

But maybe thats us being cynical.

At no point do we see him fluffing cushions or Hoovering the dog or watchingHomes Under The Hammer.

Which of course we never do ourselves, either.

There, he ends up in another righteous battle, this time against an army of evil village raiders.

In McQuades case, relaxing involves taking his shirt off and discharging firearms in the afternoon sun.

When the appeal of that starts to wane, he pulls out a shotgun.

McQuades neighbours in the next caravan are, presumably, quaking behind their marigold curtains by this point.

Holy shit, Ramos says when McQuade unleashes his shotgun.

Like us, Ramos is probably wondering how much McQuade spends per week on bullets.

My God that beard chafes, Barbaras probably thinking.

Really, though, guns are McQuades first love.

McQuade asks, in the phone conversation that exists only in our minds.

Do you still have that hammer and set of chisels?

The only thing missing is a picture of Jean-Claude Van Damme in spandex.

Ah, thats much better.

Few action stars could get away with casting themselves as pastel-coloured aerobics instructors, but Jean-Claude somehow manages it.

As a bonus, wed also like to share an excerpt from the 1993 action dramaNowhere To Runwith you.

When his private reading sessions interrupted by a small boy, he threatens him with a pistol.

What does this have to do with the topic of this article?

Not much really, we just found it childishly amusing.

It was if it wasnt just chance at play but cruel fate.

His friends voice goaded him from across the table, You wanna be a tough guy?'

Naturally enough, though, Seagals character is no ordinary novel writer.

Of course you wouldnt.

Well conclude this article with the following thought.

Dolph could do an oil and filter change on your Ford Anglia.