What did she just say?
Wait, hes English?
Here are the things we dont admit when watching acclaimed TV shows…
Omission makes the world go round.
Without the art of keeping things to ourselves, most social interactions would disintegrate within seconds.
Were a tightly wound, insular people, the British.
It takes court injunctions and Jeremy Kyle to prise loose our secrets.
Every so often though, it does us good to share.
Its cathartic to confess, between friends, that were sometimes a little bit lacking or dim.
to be uttered at least once in every conversation involvingGame Of Thrones.
Join us then, as we stand up to the bullies and say, No.
We havent read the books.
Theres loads of them.
Theyre really fecking long, and they havent got Sean Bean in them.
Remakes are bad, we know this.
The original, even if its worse, is always, always better.
Why should we, when we can get by with the vague passepartout phrase Mmm.
Ive heard really good things.
Can you really blame us?
The same goes for Anton Yusuf onBoardwalk Empire, Jamie Bamber onBattlestar Galacticaand Charlie Hunnam inSons Of Anarchy.
As Freud probably never said, Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Not inMad Menit aint, Sigmund.
Join us then, as we proudly shake our heads and declare, We did not get that.
Since were confessing stuff though, we really cant.
The inclusion of Al Capone should really have given the game away.
Television boxsets that dont include subtitle tracks should be sent back to whence they came.
Weve touched oninaudible dialogue in films before, but the issue is growing ever more prevalent in television too.
Can we not admit that this is a problem?
Woe betide you if you then think of going online and admitting such a weakness.
Walking and pulling funny faces at passers by seems a secondary concern.
That even if you miss ten minutes, the show has mainly to its credit no sympathy for you.
It doesnt, in the case ofThrones, automatically get easier if youve read the books either.
Creating storylines for quality TV programmes is a task thats thoroughly beyond us.
Sitting back and watching something that oozes wonderment likeThe Wireis a sound reminder of our television writing inadequacies.
So: how about that bit where McNulty invented crimes in the last season ofThe Wire?
McNultys actions in the final season felt, well, daft.
Further evidence: the desolation of Toby inThe West Wing.24s cougar.
The whatthefuckification of Starbuck inBattlestar Galactica.