They can make or break a movie.
Luke has chosen ten though that we’d happily never see again in our lives…
Behind every great hero lies a great sidekick.
Holmes had Watson, Han had Chewie, Turner had Hooch.
But what happens when the hero gets short-changed?
When theyve run out of good sidekicks and all that are left are the rubbish ones?
Well, sometimes youve got to take what youre given and play the hand youve been dealt.
And other times, youve got to say Enoughs enough.
That robot fromRocky IVwould be better than this!.
Here are ten such sidekicks youd want anywhere else but by your side.
But will they have to put up with a whirly, clockwork owl that whistles and beeps a lot?
Unless the makers of theClash Of The Titansredux are going for that hard-to-reach ornithological crowd.
Sadly, Bubo isnt one of them.
And youve got to feel for Harry Hamlins Perseus.
Especially one that looks like its made out of tin foil.
He manages to pull it together towards the end with a nice tiger transformation, but magnificent?
Thats stretching it a bit.
Ergo ranks only slightly above Paul Daniels in the magic stakes.
And he doesnt even have Debbie McGee to distract from his shortcomings.
Just a pre-EastendersTodd Carty.
Thats not going to cut it, Im afraid.
with Eugene Levys Andy Fiddler, a dentist with a questionable surname.
Prince Tarn inRed Sonja
You could argue that Richard Fleischers sub-Conanadventure has a surfeit of sidekicks.
And then theres the bad, in Ernie Reyes Jr.s Prince Tarn.
Tarn feels like the younger, spoilt brother of other legendary 80s urchins Short Round and the Golden Child.
Getting bent over Brigitte Nielsens knee is too good for someone who fails to respect Arnies authority.
Ship him off to boarding school and be done with him.
Fergie inJudge Dredd
Stallones foray into comic book movie territory isnt quite as bad as its reputation would suggest.
Even with a terrific Stallone impression to his credit.
What makes Schneider hard to take is knowing Joe Pesci was first choice for Fergie.
Some things are too good to let pass by.
Pesci v. Stallone is one of those things.
Answering a henchmans Who sent you?
Hes so loud and over-the-top he makes the rest of the film look about as garish asDriving Miss Daisy.
Step forward Alicia Silverstones Barbara Wilson, fresh out of Oxbridge Academy.
Ah yes, Oxbridge.
and can we pretend this didnt happen?.
Indy managed six years?
Judging by what the bearded one did with him, maybe Junior should have written the script too.
But an alien, amphibious, Rastafarian clown, banished from his native world for being clumsy?
Lucas could have put Pauly Shore in there (Je-eh-di!)
and still not have been half as offensive as what were left with.
Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor seem to pretend hes not there and never really make eye contact.
You cant really blame them.
