Wrestling’s just like acting, right?
Its the simple spectacle of structured violence that is the basis that so much genre cinema thrives on.
But as similar as the two art forms are, theres also a world of difference.
Ring the bell…
50: The Rock Snitch
Snitchisnt really a successful film.
Its good to see Rocky flexing his acting muscles, as well as just his bisceps.
His most famous role came in Bryan Singers firstX-Menfilm.
The Sarge even leant his voice to the series, and his appearance in the 1987 animated movie.
But for some reason it wasnt to be.
But then a strange thing happened.
His first DTV movie, the bare-knuckle fighting movieDamage, was really rather good.
His most notable role however was popping up in the delightful Patrick Swayze zen-bouncer movieRoadhouse.
Just having this massive, terrifying Arab-American wrestler running around this Japanese karate film is jaw-dropping.
Just watchtheseclips, and tell me you dont instantly want to see this film right now.
You cant can you?
Yet its genuinely a surprisingly enjoyable little film, which embraces its ridiculousness and just has fun with it.
Plus theres scene where Goldberg kicks a little yappy dog into a log fire.
He even has his own cheesy electro theme music by Axel F composer Harold Faltermeyer.
If youre trying to establish The Rock as the new Arnie, why not just copy his lead?
Is it the best swords-and-sandals movie ever?
Is it a damn fun one, starring The Rock?
And escalate things he does.
His opponent is played by 6ft 5 old school AWA and NWA brawler Ox Baker.
His only notable cinematic moment wouldnt come until 2002 when he appeared in Sam Ramis firstSpider-Manfilm.
We dont do this often, it just tends to make pieces like this a bit more manageable.
We shall now get out of your way and let you get back to the wrestlings.
Its kind of out there, really.
After drifting out of wrestling he ended up working for the Columbo crime family.
But where do you go from there?
Add The Rock obviously, as an international detective trying to track down Vin Diesel and Paul Walker.
Its pretty awesome, yall.
What follows isnt a wacky comedy; instead its character piece played completely straight.
Oh, and they keep stopping off to judge beauty contests too, for some reason.
But dont hold that against Andre.
The resulting is one of the most out-there and anarchic Hollywood movies ever made.
This scene was replaced with a different one for the VHS release of the film, incidentally.
9: The Rock Southland Tales
Okay, so Richard Kellys apocalyptic sci-fi follow up toDonnie Darkois messy.
Its a bizarre, unexpected, not quite successful but unforgettable performance, kind of like the film itself.
But its just loads better than it has any need to be.
The comedy is genuinely funny, the cast is great and the action is tight and genuinely exciting.
Its superbly edited, has great sound design and every little body movement and facial expression is spot on.
Nash just pops up, has this fight, and then dies.
3: Batista Guardians Of The Galaxy
Lets put this in perspective.
Batista was booed out of the building, and quickly became the most hated man in wrestling.
Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige had spoken about how much effort Big Dave put into winning the part.
It seemed like just PR puff, but it turns out its all true.
Everyone knew Batista as the big snarling bad guy who thought he could be so funny?
Its also one that only The Rock could play.
In Pain And Gain though, hes meant to be a muscle bound jerk.
If anything, with social mobility seeming less possible all the time, its maybe even timelier.
Russell is a good-looking Hollywood star.
Piper feels like the sort of guy who would really be in this situation.
He is dumb and obvious, and I mean that completely as a compliment.
Instead you need someone whod be just appalled and want to go and kick their alien asses.
Piper is absolutely perfect for the role.
