Does that name ring a bell?
It was based on a short story by William Gibson.
I dug the mystique of it.
I liked the soundtrack.
I rented them from a Blockbuster.
I watched them on the VCR in my room, which is analog technology…
I dont know, seems kind of ironic now, doesnt it?
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Anyway, both of these films werent what I expected them to be at all.
Then it hit me.
(Mystic Knights, not so much.)
But thats why virtual reality was such a big deal.
The audience is supposed to buy that these rock quarries are what virtual reality looks like.
Anyone else thing they should team up for a direct-to-video action flick?
Yeah, me either.
That means in every episode, the Troopers would always split up into two groups no matter what.
Somehow, this always worked.
And this, my friend, is it.
After class one day, the kids receive a message from Professor Hart from virtual reality.
He selects them to be the VR Troopers, high-tech warriors chosen to defend the virtual world.
This is essential because, number one, its the pilot episode.
Number two…yeah, there is no number two.
Episode 8: Computer Captive
J.B. is abducted through a computer monitor (!)
and sent to the bowels of Windows 3.2 where Grimlords dungeon is located.
There, his strength is slowly sucked out of him by the dark lords kinky lightning chains.
An infuriated Ryan infiltrates his lair to rescue J.B. and has a samurai showdown with Battlebot.
What a good virtual friend!
Episode 10: The Virtual Spy
Meet Jeremy.
Hes a virtual emissary sent by Grimlord to spy on the VR Troopers in this reality.
Silly virtual warrior girl!
Your female intuition is no match for virtual fists of iron.
But the real question is was Jeremys mullet real or was it virtual?
Because either way, it was out of this world.
When she sees his schematics, she gets excited and shows them to the other Troopers.
Get used to Poindexter, by the way.
Hes going to be back whether you want him to be or not.
Kaitlyn notices a mysterious man lurking inside a prisoner, staring out through barred windows.
Episode 31: Defending Dark Heart Pt.
1
The first multi-episode event ofVR Troopersis its best, hands down.
That this didnt get a movie-length home video release in the States is shocking.
When Dark Heart returns to Grimlord, he is sentenced to virtual termination for losing the fight against Ryan.
Meanwhile, J.B. and Kaitlyn get to have a side adventure in a virtual sex dungeon with Percy.
Remember kids: the safe word is Circuit Propulsion Matrix Analyzer.
(You might want to write that down.)
Episode 32: Defending Dark Heart Pt.
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Ryan rescues the injured Dark Heart from his death sentence in a fairly breathless sequence.
Professor Hart uploads Ryans childhood memories into Dark Hearts mind to counteract this, and it works.
Ryan, the greatest son ever to have sonned, follows Tyler and fights mutants by his fathers side.
God, I could use a kleenex right about now.
Episode 33: Defending Dark Heart Pt.
He takes it, and finds himself in a brawl with Renegade himself, who shoots his dad again!
None of the source material had to be censored or watered down (well, too much).
flashy laser beams and 80s disco beats).
Grimlord does his best Emperor Palpatine impersonation when he shocks Ryan with his lightning tentacles.
Ryan holds the severely wounded Dark Heart, who finally de-virtualizes back into his father.
Episode 51-52: Rise of the Red Python, Pt.
Im pretty sure she used to be in Wilson Philips, too.
In the end, Professor Hart cures her back at the laboratory.
If you dont already know,Space Sheriff Shaideris another installment from Toeis metal hero series.
Shaider is a deeply weird and colorful show that can terrorize just as easily as it can thrill.
Its plot also defies description.
How is this not great material for a kids show?
Episode 56: Quest for Power, Pt.
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The Quest for Power saga is a defining moment forVR Troopers.
Strangely enough, its not as captivating as Defending Dark Heart, despite all the significant changes that occur.
I think thats because it gets a bit silly towards the end when the new villains are introduced.
But lets talk about it anyway.
While doing so, he distracts the Troopers with Wolfbot.
Grimlord is a colossal asshole.
Theres a quote for your Wikipedia entry.
Episode 57: Quest for Power, Pt.
Turns this vault is a giant Costco-sized warehouse full of…what?
Glamour shots of Ryan?
Huge bins of chocolate pretzels?
Meanwhile, Colonel Icebot gives Wolfbot another injection of Tyler Steeles secret virtual sauce.
(In other words, we dont have the footage for that.)
Looks like Tyler Steele has a fucked up imagination.
It looks like its curtains for Steele Jr.
Episode 58: Quest for Power, Pt.
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…until he crawls out of the rubble!
And yeah, Jeb is fine too.
Because this show would never be the same without unnecessary Jack Nicholson gags.
Grimlord sets up a temporary base of operations until his new Dark Fortress has finished materializing.
He programs spare severed heads left over his virtual army to attack Ryan Steele in a fairly tasteless plan.
I think I find him scarier now than I did when I was 10.)
By the way, the Ultra Skugs are really ugly, arent they?
I mean, really.
Bring back the capes.Old Skugs for life!
It reallyisa small world.
Then he sets another bomb and jets off again, like a Bond villain.
(Id love to see what hed do with an N64 Goldeneye cartridge.)
But…he gains his father I guess.
Its give and take with this show.
Episode 59: Quest for Power, Pt.
Its so season one.
There, he calls forth his new employees er, minions.
After Tao cures Tyler, Ryan takes him to that temple hes always having his deep thoughts at.
Oh, and looks like Grimlord blew up the VR Skybase.
Episode 60: Quest for Power, Pt.
5
This is it!
Ryan finally transforms into his new suit, after four episodes of teasing and buildup.
But whats he going to do with it?
Take down Doom Master and his posse of evil hookers, thats what!
Cue the poorly choreographed American produced stunt footage featuring 1986Spielbanheroes fighting 1984Shaidervillains in 1995 Southern California.
Ryans new blue armor is so…cool?
And its kinda looking dirty already.
He really likes doing those twirling flips doesnt he?
Oh, that music.
Despera, girl what is that thing on your head?
Okay, that was bizarre.
Well, looks like the storyline about Ryans dad is all wrapped up now.
While there, they remain invisible to everyone but Jeb and other dogs.
Gargantus also known as Troopertron to help Ryan stop him.
The Troopertron is as close to a Megazord-bang out battle mecha the series ever got.
Personally, I think its a combination of the two.
Either way, its surprising how much it didnt matter by the time year two rolled out.
Episode 65 & 66: Kaitlyn Through the Looking Glass, Pt.
After Ryan pleads for her to save her twins life, she does.
(But probably only because he asked her to.)
This is called the VR Kaitlyn Double Team Command Now which sounds kinda sexy, doesnt it?
Instead of getting her own suit, they just give her one of her sisters spare suits.
Redemption is totally worth it.
Episode 74 & 75: Grimlords Dark Secret, Pt.
Its also revealed (insinuated?)
that virtual reality has roots way back in ancient Egypt!
Because the writers needed to justify the weird-ass Shaider footage they were handed, thats why.
Grimlord gets pissed off and sends his mutants to stop this meeting from happening.
J.B. and Kaitlyn take the box back to Taos secret chamber in hopes to rescue them.
But when they open it up, Kaitlyn walks through a portal that leads to Grimlords Virtual Dark Fortress.
There, they awkwardly reenact the first ten minutes of2001: A Space Odysseywith a group of cave dwellers.
Ryan gets them back home safely in the end.
But thats not the last well see of Knighttime.
(Talk about catfishing.)
Your new crew blows, man.
(And this battle wasnt saved for the final episode…why, exactly?)
Episode 81: Dream Battle
Yay!
Episode 88: Despera Strikes Back
Ever want to meet Desperas sister?
Wait, dont answer that.
Youre going to anyway.
Episode 91: Time Out!
Once its gone, Grimlord rushes back to his Dark Fortress in shame.
Its easy to see why.
Remember when he was attacking Ryan with the flying severed heads?
Come back,Metalderfootage!
We need Grimlord to be threatening again.
Hes like Mumm-Ra from Thundercats now.
He started off threatening and became incompetent after the first year.
When they do, he tries to raid the robots memory banks for the secrets of the VR Troopers.
It works, he breaks free, and they escape back to the Skybase.
Major damage occurs to Grimlords Dark Fortress, but its not completely destroyed.
When the Troopers get back to the lab, they reset Galileo and everything is fine.
VR Troopersends quietly, contentedly, and without a true finale to resolve its main ongoing conflict.
Sure, its an adequate note for the series to leave off on.
Still…it would have been nice to have a sense of closure.
Stephen Harberwishes there had been a crossover between VR Troopers and Melrose Place.
you’re free to follow him onTwitterandInstagramif you feel the same.
Even if you dont…feel free to anyway.
Because we are V.R., after all.