There is an end to it.
I fidget on the couch, avoiding eye contact.
My therapist leans forward.
And the cheerful anthropomorphic cartoon pig for children, they say, kindly.
Is she in the room with us right now?
You may be familiar withPeppa Pig, the British childrens animation that began airing in 2004.
Perhaps you picked up on its existence by osmosis, as part of the broader pop cultural landscape.
Or perhaps, like me, you are a parent.
In which case, solidarity.
My son, who will soon turn six, was intoPeppa Pigfor several years.
Really into it, in the way that only children can be really into something.
This was not our intention.
It was not some beloved fixture of our own childhoods that we felt compelled to share.
It just kind of happened.
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Non-parents may wonder how such things can just happen.
Surely we canjust say no?
You cant hear, but I am laughing.
Low, hollow and bitter.
Just so we understand each other, let me state plainly that I do not care forPeppa Pig.
I find myself wrestling with what it all meant.
What have I been through?
How have I changed?
Was it actually that bad?
In case it wasnt clear in my opening analogy, the therapist is you.
A Peppa Primer
Peppa is an anthropomorphic animated piglet, perpetually aged around four.
There is a vet called Doctor Hamster, though.
So apparently whatever capricious god rules this universe deemed hamsters worthy of uplift.
Why them but not ducks?
Why do fish not deserve true sentience?
Which, considering his status as a vegetable, seems somewhat perverse.
Also, the only music that exists in the shows universe is variations of the theme song.
Its the theme song.
Character whistling while they do chores?
School kids messing around with instruments?
Its really quite unsettling.
you’re free to put the rest together for yourself.
Its a childrens cartoon.
So, whats my beef?
What is it about this particular childrens cartoon that has radicalised me?
The Pig Girl
Lets start with Peppa herself.
I will say this for the girl shes not as insipidas Bing.
What she is, however, is a smug, selfish, rude, egotistical bully.
Its a kids cartoon, and in kids cartoons, bullies need to learn their lesson.
But Peppa never does.
She is never condemned for her bad behaviour.
Her cruelty to George goes unpunished.
Nobody ever calls her on her bullshit, least of all her wetwipe parents.
The show imparts no moral critique.
But even there, she doesnt learn any kind of humility.
At the allotted time, when the episode needs to wrap up, suddenly she can whistle.
Suddenly she can ride a bike without stabilisers.
No emotional or ethical journey is articulated.
As with all the shows attempts at drama, problems are just kind of solved by default.
Im not asking for perfect Aristotelian unity fromPeppa Pig, but come on.
And come the following episode, Peppa is back to her old self.
She is a terrible role model for children.
But of course, like all children, Peppa is a product of her environment.
So lets take a look at that environment.
The Ugly Ethical Landscape of Daddy Pig
Daddy Pig is the pits.
A buffoon, a blowhard, a risible figure.
The perfect cliche of the ineffectual sitcom dad.
And does he ever learn his lesson?
No wonder Peppa is the way she is.
Contrast this ugly ethical landscape against something likeBluey.
Bandit, Blueys dad, can be a bit of a buffoon, but hes also a great dad.
He loves his children and when those children misbehave, they learn their lessons.
And this growth is built upon a foundation of mutual respect, love, and strong values.
Peppa Pigis a moral vacuum in comparison.
Whos Really to Blame?
If youre still reading, congratulations!
Lets conclude by zooming out a little.
Art created with love and care and respect.
Peppa Pigis not that.
The animation is crude.
Or, indeed,make them face the front.
In the interests of balance Ill admit that there aresome okay jokes inPeppa Pig.
Then theres this moment from the aforementioned Whistling episode:
Thats it.
More than anything though, the show feels lazy.
It stinks ofthis will do, because kids will watch anything.
And yes, kids like Peppa.
Of course they do!
Kidscanbe discerning and appreciate good quality entertainment, but that doesnt mean theyre pre-programmed to do so.
This is not their failure.
The children are not at fault.Weare.
Perhaps that explains it?
Enduring this nightmare is our price for allowing it to happen the Peppa Pig penance must be paid.
Thank you for listening.
I think I can finally move on now.
