BBC Fours Time Commanders is joyful, nerdy, educational fun.
A child being presented with an ice-cream thats bigger than their face.
Me whenever somebody falls into a paddling pool onYouve Been Framed!
Until December 2016, those were the purest examples of joy I could name.
Theres a new addition to the list.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you: the joy of BBC FoursTime Commanders.
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Time Commandersaired its first sixteen-episode series on BBC Two in 2003.
Devised by Adam Macdonald, each episode pitted a team of four contestants against a computer opponent.
The idea was to see if revised attack strategies could rewrite the history of the victors and the vanquished.
Eddie Mair presented series one, with Richard Hammond replacing him for the eight-episode second series in 2005.
And then… nothing.
When the new episodes arrived on BBC Four in December,Time Commandershad a new host and new tweaks.
The new format was an instant improvement.
Take new host Gregg Wallace.
I have to own up to being puzzled by his presence at first.
To start with, there didnt seem to be much crossover between historical military strategy and presentingMasterChef.
Now its clear what that fear and shoutiness really was: love.
Wallace loves the bones ofTime Commanders(that, or hes an extremely skilled faker).
In the to-camera intros, his waistcoat can barely contain his excitement.
TONIGHT A TEAM OF KICK-BOXERS TAKE ON A TEAM OF KARATE EXPERTS!
he screams, whites of his eyes flashing.
The only proper response faced with that much passion is to go with it and scream back.
Once the bouts get going, Wallace is enthusiasm personified.
Hes never lacklustre, never quiet and visibly vibrates with the thrill of it all.
Hes also pretty handy when it comes to strategising.
Teams ignore Wallaces SHOULDNT YOU BE USING YOUR HEAVY ARTILLERY, MATE?
suggestions at their peril.
More commonly though, hes to be found hooting his face off, screaming the word ROUTING!
and waving his arms in the air at the chaos of it all.
After three episodes, Im completely sold on Wallace.
The only possible replacement Id entertain at this stage would be Alan Partridge.
Wallaces enthusiasm can only be matched by the theatrical brilliance of the Field Team.
Each three-minute trip to the Field Team is a total joy.
Or shooting arrows into the chest of a lump of polystyrene… on horseback.
Or slicing off the top of a coconut with a broadsword… on horseback.
You name it, they can do it.
Those are the wise and very true words of Dr Lynette Nusbacher, another boon toTime Commanders.
Dr Nusbachers main attributes are her keen knowledge of military history and way with words.
Theyre about to make a Hun sandwich she observed of one bout.
Hun in a bun added Mike Loades, weapons man.
Loades knows his weaponry onions.
Then he could use it to strangle you with historic accuracy.
The actual contestants are probably the least exciting thing aboutTime Commanders, which is what makes them so brilliant.
ARE YOU READY TO MAKE MINCEMEAT OF THE HUNS?
Wallace doesnt miss an opportunity to get in the contestants faces and say HA!
DONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT YOU DONT EXACTLY LOOK LIKE HANNIBAL DO YOU?!.
The whole package just equals joy, something thats in scarce enough supply right now.
So come on, BBC, do your magic and c’mon manufacture us some more.
You cancontact the BBC via this formif youre in agreement.
